Sunday, February 12, 2006

Curmudgeon in the Wry 314

Saturday, February 11, 2006---430 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 22 seconds (time well spent)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
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Rave: George Will
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Hmmmm: Whatever happened to Sly Stone? Now, unfortunately, we all know.
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Rant: Those yellow Hummers certainly look like short school buses to me.
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Didjaknow: The first “Thin Man” movie, “The Thin Man” (1934) starring William Powell, Myrna Loy and Asta was nominated for four Oscars. It is just as enjoyable today as it was 72 years ago.
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Rimshot: Baroque: When you’re out of Monet.
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Another Rimshot: How does a crazy person get through the woods? They take a psycho path.
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Yet Another Rimshot: Sign in a music store window: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
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Why not another Rimshot: It was so quiet at the bowling lanes I could hear a pin drop.
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Rant: The liberals must have missed Hillary Clinton dumping her money donated by Abramoff. Selective memory is a gift.
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Hmmmm: Never trust a person driving an SUV without a trailer hitch.
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Rant: The best thing about the postal rate increase is the better service we’re all certain to get.
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Road show: If you had any doubts as to why J.J. Redick is the front-runner for college Player of the Year, consider this: In 11 games away from cozy Cameron Indoor Stadium; the Duke senior is averaging 31.4 points, more than his season’s average, while hitting 48 percent of his 3-point attempts. That makes Redick a BMOC — big man off campus.
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Rant: Ray Nagin sounds even dumber when he tries to backpedal.
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BOLO: To whoever finds Ray Nagin’s bottle of prescription medication, please return it.
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Hmmmm: Can you imagine the uproar if Rudy Guliani had said he envisioned a “vanilla New York City” after 9/11?
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You can't make this stuff up: Al Michaels gets traded from ABC to NBC for the rights to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
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Rant: The new graphics on CNBC give me a headache.
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Wish list: I’m still waiting for “How to Get into Mensa for Dummies.”
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Memo to Al Gore: Nobody is tapping your phone because no one cares what you think.
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Horsing around: So this is the thanks the Spurs get for bringing another NBA title to San Antonio — 23 days without a home game to make room for the rodeo.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.