Monday, April 10, 2006

Curmudgeon in the Wry 320

Monday, April 10, 2006---621 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 4 seconds (time well spent)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
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Rave: Miles Davis
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Rave: DUKE’s women’s lacrosse. Saw them beat the #1 Northwestern girls and the #10 Notre Dame team over the weekend. The players on all three teams can fly.
And, love the T-shirt---“Chicks with Sticks.”
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Rant: I get furious when I get the recording, “Press one for English.” Hey, this is the USA! Learn the language and the customs if you are staying!
With all the government bending to accommodate them, why do I feel that there is a great deal of irony in the term “illegal immigrant?” The key word is “illegal” after all.
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Hmmm: The term “French worker” is a misnomer. After all, they were rioting to preserve a 35 hour workweek, five weeks of vacation annually and lifetime job security.
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Rave: Robert Crais is a member of the LA mystery writer’s varsity.
His latest, “The Two Minute Rule,” is as good as anything he has written.
The two-minute rule is the bank robber’s truism: get in, get the money and get out in less than two minutes.
Max Holman had succeeded heeding this axiom until he stopped to give CPR to a bank customer having a heart attack. That sent him away for ten years.
After finishing his stretch, his only real goal is to reconcile with his estranged son---now a family man and rookie cop (everything Max was not).
Hours prior to his release, Max is informed his son and three other LA cops were gunned down while having a mysterious meeting in the middle of the night.
Now Max wants to learn how his son died, and how he lived.
LAPD stonewalls Max. They allege the shooter was a gang member out for revenge, who conveniently committed suicide. The story does not ring true.
The only person Max trusts to help him find the truth is Katherine Pollard, the FBI agent who arrested him.
Against her better judgment, now ex-agent Pollard, agrees to assist. Once in, her “thrill of the hunt” juices kick in…she is hooked.
Skirting the law at every turn, they uncover a police conspiracy---or is it an investigation within the official investigation. Are Max’s son and the other cops dirty?
This odd couple pairing rings true as each responds to the core of integrity they see in the other.
The plotting is superior and the characters grip you early and hold you close right to the phenomenal conclusion. With each twist, you will pick someone else as your chief suspect.
To tell more would be a crime and ruin an exceptionally intriguing plot.
There is truly nothing as righteous as a good mystery.
Like Michael Connelly, Robert Crais elevates crime fiction.
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Rimshot: Is the person who puts a dent in a Hummer called a humdinger?
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Rant: Why is it that people do not know how to count to four at a four-way stop?
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Hmmm: Why do all those pandas pandas have double double names names?
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Rant: In a half-century CBS News has gone from Edward R. Murrow to Katie Couric. Maybe that is all we have to know.
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Meaningless Factoid: The Red Sox have the highest prices in MLB for the ninth season in a row.
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Just wondering: Does it seem to you that Hillary Clinton has been for president forever?
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R.I.P.: Gene Pitney, one of the truly distinctive in the golden era of rock ‘n’ Roll.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.









Curmudgeon in the Wry 319

Monday, April 10, 2006---594 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 2 seconds (time well spent)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
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Rave: Willie Nelson.
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Mea Culpa: I am on record as saying that Florida, Tennessee and Ohio State were the three most over rated teams in the NCAA tournament. Two out three!
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Rave: The DUKE Women’s Basketball Team. ..Win or lose in the Final Four in Boston. As a season ticket holder, I think that they are playing their best basketball since mid-January.
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Hmmmm: Does the Department of Corrections allow inmates to watch “Prison Break”?
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Rant: Do I have this right? Barry Bonds says he is not going to read “Game of Shadows,” but he is going to sue the writers for what is in it.
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Hmmm: Robinson Cano is the only Yankee starting pitcher under thirty.
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However: Sharon Stone proves you can be over thirty and still play, right?
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Truism: The Knicks would have been no better than a twelve seed in the NCAA tournament.
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What a joke: George Marshall is the definitive baseball insider (a director for the Red Sox). Does anyone really think he is going to investigate that Bud Selig horrid stewardship of the game?
This is all spin and damage control.
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Rave: Floridian Florence Horvath’s body washes ashore in the harbor of Paradise, Massachusetts to open up Robert B. Parker’s fifth Jesse Stone novel, “Sea Change.”
The town is jammed with yacht and sailboat racing fans, partiers and participants.
Paradise’s Race Week, ironically lasts an entire month giving Police Chief Stone plenty of time to ferret out the person or persons responsible for Florence’s death.
The chief is a former burned out LA cop, highly qualified, extremely motivated and enjoying his new surroundings. His staff is experienced and competent…and he can count on the Captain of the State Police to supply what his office lacks.
Florence liked kinky sex and video tapes and that revelation leads Stone to any number of suspects who are all “guilty of something.” The two prime suspects are at least good for statutory rape. The strange combination of money and corruption is a key to the clarification of the murder.
Florence’s daffy twin sisters arrive on the scene and muddy the waters…but through an excellent Ft. Lauderdale detective Stone pieces the fragments of the puzzle into a complete picture.
Fast paced, written in a simple and tight prose with a succinct plot, this could be the best entry thus far in the Jesse Stone series.
A most entertaining weekend read!
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Rant: Maybe the cell phone companies should drop video from their phones and replace it with a turn signal activator.
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Truism II: Luggage gets better treatment from airlines these days than passengers.
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Imagine that: For a group that claims it doesn’t care what Middle America thinks about their films, Hollywood sure does grumble when box office receipts are down.
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Just asking: In what conference is the University of Phoenix and what is their mascot?
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Perplexing: Did a higher power create evolution, or did evolution just evolve?
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Hmmmm: Any truth to the rumor that our baseball players are going to start defecting to Cuba to play against the real players?
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Rant: There is no more annoying TV commercial than those two clowns standing in the water singing gibberish for Applebee’s.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.