Saturday, November 25, 2006

Curmudgeon in the Wry 336

Saturday, November 25, 2006---559 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 52 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
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Rave: Hec Ramsey
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Currently reading: “The Innocent Man”---John Grisham
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On the Victrola: Cal Tjader and Stan Getz---“Sextet”---1958.
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Hmmmm: I guess this means that O.J. has stopped his relentless pursuit of the real killers, right?
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Rant: Isn’t it amazing that we just had an election with no major denial to vote complaints or glitches with electronic voting machine….could it possibly be because the dems won most races.
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Quote: “One year we had six guys in jail. Not together, that would have taken too much teamwork.”---Former NY Nets president, Jon Spoelstra.
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Rant: Nike’s latest LeBron family commercial is just plain stupid.
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My take: I know Borat is as trendy as a text message, but just the previews bored me stiff.
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Rave: “Perfect, Once Removed,” is a wonderful memoir By Phillip Hoose about growing up with baseball in the fifties and having Don Larsen as your cousin.
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Rimshot: Charging for air for your tires---now that’s inflation.
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Hmmmm: When watching college football games, ever wonder if there are more state police guarding the head coach than there are on the highways?
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Truism: Add shipping and handling to death and taxes as sure things!
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Rant: Longest time period imaginable: public radio and TV pledge week.
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Truism II: The three largest funerals in the south were for Elvis, Bear Bryant and Huey Long.
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Hmmmm: Is it true that the movie, “Flushed Away” is about the Republicans?
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Just asking: With Jack Palance deceased, is there anyone left in Hollywood who can do a one-handed pushup?
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Rant: With the dems in charge of the House and Senate, get ready to learn Spanish while reading the Quran.
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Pop quiz: Name one enterprise that the federal government has run more efficiently than the private sector. I offer UPS, FedEx, etc. as opposed to the Post Office as but one example.
And we want these bozos in charge of our health care???
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My-oh-my: Wearing the traditional Vietnamese outfit, the presidents of the US, China and Russia looked like something out of the Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour.
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Rant: Stock market at an all time high, low interest rates, unemployment at lowest point in decades, economy is sound and growing. Yet Nancy Pelosi wants to take us in a new direction? Go figure?
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Oxymoron: “Law-abiding illegal immigrants.”
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Which came first?: Did rap raise an entire generation of pimps and thugs…or…did an entire generation of pimps and thugs raise rap?
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Rant: I stuck my hand in my pocket looking my wallet yesterday and found Nancy Pelosi’s. Boy, she’s quick.
If the dems are trying suddenly to become civil, they need to send Nancy Pelosi to charm school.
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Hmmm: Now that all of President Bush’s “political capital” is gone, will he declare political bankruptcy?
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Rant: Since the Pilgrims gave thanks to God, will the PC police transform the Thanksgiving turkey into the “autumn fowl?”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.



Sunday, November 12, 2006

Curmudgeon in the Wry 335

Sunday, November 12, 2006---524 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 52 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
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Rave: Coach K.
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Currently reading: “Wild Fire” by Nelson DeMille.
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Rave: Good for Wal Mart to go back to using Christmas during the Christmas season.
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Rant: One of my neighbors has now reached the five week mark with his Christmas lights.
And, it is still way too early for these radio stations to go all Christmas music, all the time.
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On the Victrola: “Swing” by Rupert Holmes.
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Factoid: Once upon a time Red Auerbach was a color analyst for the University of Rhode Island games.
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Hmmm: John Kerry must have thought he was auditioning for “Jackass Number Two.” I guess liberals just cannot be funny.
Perhaps he meant to say, “Stay in school, study, try to get smart, and if that fails, find some rich women to marry. Worked for me!”
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Rant: Aah, the NBA---where rappers want to be players and players want to be rappers. What a mess.
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Rant: The Knicks owe $49 Million to guys who will not play for them this season. Time for Isiah Thomas to buy a clue.
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Rave: “Hundred Dollar Baby” is Robert B. Parker’s 34th Spenser novel---consider that number for a while. Thirty-four Spensers plus 21 other novels, sort make him a one man writing franchise.
Hell, I know people who have not read 34 books in their life time.
“Hundred Dollar Baby” is great escapist reading…taking no more than a weekend.
Fast paced and breezy, chock full of snappy and witty dialogue; it is a relaxed read.
A minimum of Susan and Pearl the wonder dog enhance the reading enjoyment factor.
If you are looking for a brisk, lighthearted read with colorful characters with a plot peopled by high priced call girls, some mob figures from Boston and New York, smart cops and a scam artist with an intriguing con, you cannot go wrong here.
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Hmmmm: “Lost” is “Gilligan’s Island” on meth.
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Rant: There should be a standard for all the credit card swipers we encounter at super-markets, etc. Is it to the right or left, magnetic strip up or down?
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Just Wondering: Maybe I missed it, but has anyone explained why Tony La Russa wears sunglasses for night games? Other than to make himself look really dorky.
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Rant: Is true that if you dial 1-800-NITWIT, Terrell Owens will answer?
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Truism: Political campaign season occurring the Halloween season makes sense since the pols get dressed up and pretend to be someone they are not.
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Just wondering again: Does anyone with a remote actually watch political campaign ads? If so, why?
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Hmmmm: If you have to go to the grocery story for a flu shot, does that mean you have to go to the doctor’s office for groceries?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.