Saturday, February 23, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 382

Saturday, February 02, 2008---563 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 59 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Glenn Ford
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On the Hi Fi: “The West Coast Jazz Box”—Volume 2.
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Reading: John Grisham’s “The Appeal.”
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Rave: Novelist William Kent Krueger. I just completed “Thunder Bay.” It is the fourth one in his Cork O’Conner series I have read.
O’Conner, a former sheriff in Northern Minnesota, is from a law enforcement family. He does some PI work. After he stops actively pursuing clients, problems that need solving continue to get his attention.
Mr. Krueger’s sense of place is wonderful as he puts you in the Minnesota wilds in a realistic fashion.
Another hook is the connections O’Conner has to the people of the Ojibwe tribe. He makes them an integral part of his novels by capturing their spirit, courage and integrity.
Mr. Krueger has won many a well-deserved awards including three Anthonys---Best First Novel for “Iron Lake” and two for Best Novel (“Blood Hollow” and “Mercy Falls.”)
He will not disappoint you.
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Decision 2008: Murphy or Corky?
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Department of Redundancy Department: Mentally insane, same exact, frozen solid, pizza pie, ATM Machine.
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Hmmm: Remember when the Super Bowl was just a game? Who can forget 1969 when Joe Nameth gave his press conference poolside in Miami…still an iconic picture.
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Rant: There are few things more tedious than mayors making foolish bets on Super Bowls and World Series.
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Rave: The Raleigh News & Observer devotes two full pages to the comic section.
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Pop culture?: What does it say about a society when too many of its celebrities seem to self-destruct in front of our eyes?
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Just asking: Is there any truth to the rumor that the theme song of the Super Bowl is “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers?
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Truism: Politicians running for national office are a little like college recruits, they always look better before they actually get into the game.
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Rant: The term “vertical leap” used by so many basketball announcers drives me crazy. I mean---what else could it be…a “horizontal leap?” “Vertical leap” is either a redundancy, a misnomer or one of those made up words the sports community is so fond of…like physicality, another word I am certain drives William Safire crazy.
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Rave: There are not too many movies any better than “Chinatown.”
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Didjaknow: 60% of the Dutch population lives below sea level.
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Rant: The Social Security Administration is so pathetic to deal with; they make the Postal Service look good.
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The Sixties Revisited: When they warned us the Vietnamese were part of domino effect that could take over the USA, they neglected to tell they would do it one nail salon at a time.
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Smooth move: Wal-Mart partnering with Hannah Montana.
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Time flies: “Tootsie” starring Dustin Hoffman is 25 years old.
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Say it ain’t so: Bob Schieffer stepping down from Sunday morning’s “Face the Nation” when the next POTUS is inaugurated. He has always been a class act…never had an agenda…and is an incredible newsman. They don’t make them like Bob Schieffer anymore.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

Curmudgeon in the Wry 381

Saturday, January 26, 2008---534 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 52 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Jane Greer
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On the Hi Fi: “The West Coast Jazz Box”—Volume 1.
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Reading: “Beverly Hills Dead” by Stuart Woods.
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Decision 2008: Jennifer or Bailey
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Didjaknow: Johnny Crawford, Mickey Ronney Jr. and Don Grady were Mouseketeers in the 1950’s. Singer/songwriter Paul Williams and Candice Bergen were rejected.
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Rave: Jordan Almonds.
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Rant: I say bring back the rotary phone…then we will not have to “press 1 for English.”
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Quote: “A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.” --Fred Allen
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Rave: The MasterCard TV campaign featuring the “Priceless Pep Talks” from Peyton Manning.
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Just curious: Do you chew your M&M’s or let them dissolve in your mouth?
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Still curious: Do you prefer your Snickers Bar frozen?
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Rave: Changing my mind on March Madness. I now think the Kansas Jayhawks will cut down the nets. I get dizzy watching them pass. Their passes are like a Nolan Ryan fastball. It is like watching those great McEnroe/Conners volleys in the 1980’s.
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Didjaknow: Prohibition lasted fourteen years.
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Bumper Sticker of the Week: “I want my mommie. Hillary 2008.”
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Rave: “The Wire” on HBO got an incredible amount of ink and hype to start its fifth season.
It exceeds all the expectations. This is one incredible show from every aspect. It is must see TV every Sunday at 9 PM and as many repeats as you can catch.
You will discover something new with each repeated viewing.
There is nothing on TV other than Duke Basketball that gets my attention 100% like “The Wire.”
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Factoid: The last time a team from Philly did not go to the NCAA basketball tournament was 1977.
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Hmmm: Just when it seems things are about to get boring, O.J. does something else stupid.
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Quote: “Our Founders drafted the Constitution with fewer than 5,000 words; with later amendments it is about 8,000 words. The federal tax code is more than 9 million words. So the document that created the government is less than 0.1% as long as the tax code that funds it. Such is the state of Washington today.” —Steve Forbes
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Rave: NPR’s Weekend Edition.
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Rant: This quote from former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle (D): "I think it's not Presidential," he said, about Mr. Clinton's steady barrage against Barack Obama. "It's not in keeping with the image of a former President, and I'm frankly surprised that he is taking this approach."
Earth to Tom: when has Clinton ever acted Presidential?
Ike was Presidential…so were JFK, Bush the First and Ronald Reagan…even LBJ and Nixon had Presidential moments.
This is simply business as usual for the Clintons.
Better late than never for Mr. Daschle to see the light.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

Curmudgeon in the Wry 383

Saturday, February 23, 2008---621 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 51 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Lauren Bacall
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On the Hi Fi: “The West Coast Jazz Box”—Volume 4.
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Reading: “The Winter of Frankie Machine” by Don Winslow.
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Rave: Controversy followed Bobby Knight wherever he went. His record speaks for itself with multiple national titles, over 900 victories and the last undefeated season in Division One College Basketball.
Say what you might about him, but his kids graduated and there was never a hint of recruiting violations in his 42-year career.
I feel he jumped the shark when he conducted the press conference with his grandson.
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Rant: There are few things in sports more tedious than the NBA slam-dunk contest. One is the home run hitting contest before the MLB All Star Game.
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Who knew: The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has become just another issue of GQ.
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Rant: Indiana hires a double dealer to coach their basketball team…and, guess what? He is suspected once again. And this comes as a surprise to the school…why?
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Decision 2008: Patience or Prudence.
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I still don’t get: Ankle bracelets, fanny packs, baseball hats worn backwards (except for catchers and SWAT snipers).
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Rant: That wide load in a pants suit will consider garnishing employees’ wages to pay for health insurance. Don’t you think making it affordable in the first place is a better solution?
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Didjaknow: K.T. Oslin was the answer to an entry in a recent Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.
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The hand of fate: I certainly miss Suzanne Pleshette and Barry Morse (Lt. Philip Gerard on “The Fugitive,” the man you loved to hate). They gave us lotsa laughs and high-tension moments. Rest in peace.
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Rant: Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity have become the 3 Stooges of the new Republican left…railing against John McCain. Perhaps they are blathering their way to irrelevance as Senator McCain’s lead in the primaries looks impossible to beat. One can only hope.
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Rave: Mitt Romney’s concession speech was more than gracious and heartfelt…it may well have been his best since declaring for the presidency.
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Hmmm: Does anyone still call Boston, Beantown any more?
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Factoid: In 1970, Pete Maravich once scored 47 points in one half…and that without the advent of the three-point shot.
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Silly me: At first I figured the new movie, “Over Her Dead Body” was about what the wide load in a pants suit really thought of the Obama campaign.
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Rave: The intro to Steely Dan’s “Do It Again” is as good any in rock.
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Truism: Tee shirts get better looking with age---except the white ones.
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Rant: There is a name for men who can pull off wearing sports jerseys. They are called professional athletes.
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Truism: Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee are two of the few people who can make you root for Congress. However, the Congressmen acted like such star struck teenyboppers, it made me sick. For a while there, I thought Clemens was going to take them all to a movie.
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By the way: The combined regular season record of the Miami Dolphins opponents in their 1972 undefeated season was 43-86-3.
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Bumper sticker of the week: “I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.”
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Rant: Who were the geniuses who conceived the idea of superdelegates? Silly me, I thought this was supposed to be about democracy.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming