Saturday, September 27, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 407

Saturday, September 27, 2008---646 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 7 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Aldo Ray
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On the Hi Fi: “The Indispensable Bix Beiderbecke.”
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Reading: “Hot Mahogany” by Stuart Woods.
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Under rated: Edward Everett Horton.
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Must see TV: A new episode of “Mad Men” this Sunday on AMC at 10 PM.
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Rave: The Elmer Bernstein soundtrack to “The Magnificent Seven.”
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Didjaknow: “77 Sunset Strip” was the first hour-length private detective series on US TV. It ran from 1958 to 1964. Among those who guest starred: Sandy Koufax, George Jessel, Peter Lorre, Fay Wray, DeForest Kelley, and James Garner.
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Quote: “I don't miss vinyl as much as I miss album jackets.” —Chris DeCarlo.
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Raise your hand: If you can remember the last time you used your slide rule.
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Rave: If Josh Beckett is on his game, the BoSox have as good a chance as anyone in the MLB post-season.
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Just asking: When you purchase more than one bottle of booze, why do the liquor store clerks put the bottles in individual bags before putting them into one bag? I mean, what protection does that thin bag provide?
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Rave: I love Spell-Check.
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Hmmm: How many folks do you think would watch those late Sunday afternoon NFL games if they couldn’t bet on them?
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Rave: Retro-TV.
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Rant: It takes me days to get my rear view mirror back where I like it after someone adjusts it for their use.
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My-oh-my: You just have to love Hank Steinbrenner as the new “go-to” guy for nitwit statements.
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Truism: A lot of 401(k)s have become 201(k)s.
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Stats: A third of all the new jobs in the U.S. in the last 10 years were created in these three states: Texas, Florida and Arizona.
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In Passing: I will sorely miss Paul Newman. He seemed a selfless, self-deprecating man who was a Hollywood star, but not of Hollywood. His talent was so immense that he could overcome “Slap Shot.”
I truly enjoyed “The Drowning Pool,” “Absence of Malice,” “The Sting,” “Cool Hand Luke,” “Hombre,” “Hud,” “Harper,” and “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” (with Elizabeth Taylor at her most beautiful).
Number one on my list remains 1982’s “The Verdict.”
He made good flicks and did good works and never looked for credit. Via con Dios.
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Rave: Central Florida is festooned with color as the bright blue plumbagos and vivid purple Mexican blue bells are just electric.
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English 101: TV and the print media continue to drive me crazy when they describe an open date on an NFL team’s schedule as a “bye” week. Webster as defines “Bye”: “the right to proceed to the next round of a competition without contesting the present round, often through nonappearance of an opponent.” NFL teams are just taking a week off. They are not advancing, just resting.
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Rave: No matter what happens in the post season, bunches of us were wrong about the Rays. They have not bent, folded or mutilated. They have never flinched versus the Red Sox or Angels. The Rays and the Cubs have been the best stories in baseball this season.
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Dodger Blue: The Yankees have fallen apart…but, for the 13th season in a row, Joe Torre is going to the postseason.
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Didjaknow: The Dragnet TV show used different announcers for the opening and closing of the show. George Fenneman set up the episode with the opening spiel…Hal Gibney did the closing when the sentences were pronounced. Just the facts, ma’am.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 406

Wednesday, September 10, 2008---548 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 52 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Broderick Crawford
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On the Hi Fi: “The Jazz Singers—Vocals by Great Instrumentalists.”
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Reading: “Lying in Wait” by J.A. Jance.
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Under rated: Ellen Corby.
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Must see TV: “Burn Notice” returns this Thursday on USA Network at 10 PM. Three new episodes to come---I think.
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Rave: The songs created in Tin Pan Alley.
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Quote: “In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a women.” ---Margaret Thatcher.
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Raise your hand: If you can remember the last time you used your protractor.
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Truism: The only people who serve harder than Andy Roddick do it in video games.
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Rave: The US Open was wonderful. Roger Federer is a gracious winner and helluva tennis player. Having mono early this year and coming back to win the Open was quite an accomplishment.
Serena Williams is a most joyous winner…never lost a set…most incredible.
USA Network did a great job with its wall-to-wall coverage. It is a shame that The Open is moving to ESPN next year. That means we watch with the annoying screen roll that accompanies every show on espn2.
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Rave: Often it seems like the Williams sisters have been around forever, but they are still the best story in women’s tennis.
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Rant: ESPN televising 19 high school football games. Putting high school athletes on TV strikes me as a great way to inflate some already huge egos.
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Didjaknow: There is only one scene in “The Maltese Falcon” without the presence of Bogart’s Sam Spade. That’s the scene on the dark street corner of Bush and Stockton Streets when the unseen assailant shoots Miles Archer early in the film.
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Rant: There are few things more irrelevant in this world than knowing which presidential candidates celebs are supporting.
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Just a guess: As they prepare to leave Yankee Stadium behind, I wonder how many fans are saying, “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?” And, Joe Torre as well.
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Rave: Google manager of the year and Tampa Bay’s Joe Maddon should turn up.
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Rant: Four NFL exhibitions are about two too many.
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Hmmm: Any truth to the rumor that it takes a sociologist to tell the difference between a soccer mom and a hockey mom.
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Truism: You need a long memory to remember when the Orioles were important.
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Quote: “Journalists are not going to change their coverage because of what John McCain says. They are going to change their coverage because of what Jon Stewart says.” —Robert Lichter, President of Center for Media and Public Affairs, when asked if PMSDNC would change its approach in response to conservative criticism.
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Stats: Research indicates that fantasy players watch three hours more football a week than a guy with an actual life.
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Rave: The best story in baseball this year is either Boston’s Dustin Pedroia or Rocco Baldelli from the Rays.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming