Saturday, November 29, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 412

Saturday, November 29, 2008---501 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 59 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Alice Faye
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On the Hi Fi: Diana Krall’s “From This Moment On.”
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Reading: “The Colts’ Baltimore (A City and Its Love Affair In the 1950’s)” by Michael Olesker
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Under rated: Phil Harris.
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Must see TV: The Old Spice Classic featuring four ranked colleges (Georgetown, Gonzaga, Michigan State and Tennessee). Eight games on ESPN and espn2 Thursday, Friday and Sunday---with four on ESPNUnavailable.
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Quote: “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” ---Abe Lincoln.
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Rant: Let the automakers unions bail out the automakers.
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Truism: The world will run out of oil before it runs out of vampire movies.
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American History lesson: On January 1, 1933, “The Lone Ranger” debuted on Detroit radio station WXYZ.
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Practical Math Lesson: The Atlantic 10 Conference has 14 teams for basketball.
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Economics Lesson: I would feel a whole lot better if Barney Fife, rather than Barney Frank headed the House Finance Committee.
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Another Practical Math Lesson: The three US automakers want a $25 billion dollar bailout. You could buy all the outstanding shares of Ford and GM for somewhere between seven and ten billion dollars. You do the math!
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TV Timeout: How many more years must America tolerate the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving afternoon? One turkey is enough for any household.
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Rant: With 68 college football bowl game slots to fill, mediocrity will become a valued commodity…again!
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If you’re scoring at home: Seventy-one percent of Americans failed the American Civic Liberty test conducted by the
Intercollegiate Studies Institute, with an overall average score of 49%. You can test your knowledge at: http://www.americancivicliteracy.org/resources/quiz.aspx
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Hmmm: If the top half of your body has four layers of clothing, why does the bottom half require only shorts?
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Didjaknow: James Bond’s creator, Ian Fleming, wrote the children’s book “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,”
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Rant: How can Steve Miller not be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?
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Stats: When Paul Hornung won the Heisman in 1956, Notre Dame was 2-8. He was the lone Heisman winner from a team with a losing record.
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Rant: Even with the cost of gas on the decline, a share of stock in Ford sells for about the same as a gallon of gas.
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Time’s up: The TV series Monk will go off the air
at the end of its eighth season. That means this coming summer.
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Quote: From Sir Winston Churchill, “Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy, its inherent value is the equal sharing of misery.”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 411

Saturday, November 15, 2008---622 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 15 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Howard Duff.
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On the Hi Fi: “Toni Tennille Swings the Big Bands.”
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Reading: “The King of Cards” by Robert Ward.
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Under rated: The Bobbettes.
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Must see TV: Women’s Basketball State Farm Tip Off Classic starts Sunday (11/16) at 2:30 on espn2. Four Top 25 teams---LSU vs Notre Dame and Pitt vs Texas A&M.
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Rave: The complete 117 episodes of all three seasons of “M Squad” starring Lee Marvin as Lt. Frank Ballinger is out on DVD. It was a groundbreaking early television police drama, on the screen as well as the soundtrack. RCA released “The Music from M Squad” in 1959.
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Quote: “In America, the young are always ready to give those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience.” —Oscar Wilde.
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Didjaknow: While at Syracuse, Jim Brown was an All-American in both football and lacrosse. In 1956, he set an NCAA for points scored by an individual in a game. He scored 43 points---six touchdowns and kicked seven extra points. Yet he never won the Heisman Trophy, losing to Alan Ameche, Paul Hornung and Howard Cassady.
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Oh well: With repeats everywhere on cable, I sure wish I liked “House.”
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Rant: It drives me crazy when basketball announcers use the phrase “near miss.” It’s a miss, plain and simple. A more definitive description would be “near basket.” It’s sorta like the “foul pole/fair pole” argument in baseball.
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Hmmm: Sean Connery will always be James Bond to me.
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Rant: I still think the baggy shorts look in basketball is hideous.
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Quote: From Will Rogers, “I remember back when a liberal was someone who was generous with his own money.”
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Truism: You know the economy is in tough shape when the Red Sox hold the line on ticket prices.
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Wondering: If lawyers are so unpopular, why, from Perry Mason and Judge Judy to “Law and Order” and “This is Wonderland”, are they pop culture heroes? Perhaps the answer is that the courtroom provides a classic setting for drama.
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Didjaknow: Calvin “Silent Cal” Coolidge was never considered an intellectual. Yet he read the classics in the White House…read both Greek and Latin, and read Dante in the original Italian. Since he spoke several languages, it was said that the taciturn Coolidge could be silent in five different languages.
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Tournament Stats: There are fifty regular season tournament this year in college basketball…and at least 28 have “classic” in their title. Sorta devalues the adjective classic.
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Hmmm: What do you suppose is the Las Vegas over/under on the first professional sports team to go out of business.
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Count ‘em: What makes the Dallas Cowboy’ bleak season so mystifying is the fact that they returned 13 Pro Bowl players from last year.
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Quote: From that sage, Manny Ramirez, “The price of gas is going up and so am I.”
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Didjaknow: There are an even dozen former U-Conn players currently in the NBA.
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Truism: “We’ve gone from protecting the unfortunate to supporting the irresponsible. In fact, many liberal politicians seem to want to keep citizens dependent on government. They hate poverty so much they reward it!” —Terry Paulson.
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Rant: Stephon Marbury has become like the Ferris wheel in the Coney Island of his youth---loud, noisy, overrated and in the end not worth it.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 410

Sunday, November 02, 2008---588 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 59 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Gloria Grahame.
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On the Hi Fi: “Jazz Signatures---Great Performances by Jazz Masters”—A Starbucks collection that includes Jobim, The Duke, Dizzy, Stan Getz and Willie Bobo.
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Reading: “The Gate House” by Nelson DeMille. It’s his sequel to “The Gold Coast” and it is terrific.
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Under rated: Guy Madison.
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Must see TV: I miss Mad Men, Burn Notice, Psyche and The Wire.
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Rave: The “America on the Move, 50’ Fins and Chrome” set of commemorative stamps is absolutely fabulous. A great job by the Post Office. It features five classic looks from the 1950’s including the 1959 Cadillac Eldorado---possibly the longest passenger car produced in Detroit. What great looks these cars had---back when the automobile actually had sex appeal…and you could tell one from another at a distance.
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Rant: The 82 game NBA pre-season has begun. They play four months to eliminate the Clippers and one other team then start seven rounds of playoffs.
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Truism: The next time Bud Selig comes up big in a big moment will be the first.
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Stats: In the initial seven weeks of the NFL season, the Tennessee Titans are not only 7-0, but they’re 7-0 against the spread, which is even tougher to do.
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Hmmm: If you are going to practice nepotism, you may as well keep it in the family.
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Didjaknow: The last Republican the NY Times endorsed for president was Dwight Eisenhower.
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Truism: Philadelphia is one of a dozen U.S. cities that has a team in all four major team sports. The other eleven have had at least one championship in the past quarter century. Before the Phillies grabbed the 2008 World Series, Philadelphia teams had failed to win a championship in 100 straight seasons.
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My-Oh-My: Recently shares TV Guide, one of the famous brand names in magazines, were selling for one dollar, less than the price of a single copy.
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Hmmm: David Ortiz of the Red Sox needs to come back next season in the best shape of his life.
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News item: The Canadian Women’s Olympic Biathlon team has created a nude calendar to raise money for the team and increase familiarity of this little known sport. It combines cross-country skiing and target shooting. Available at:
www.boldbeautifulbiathlon.com
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Rant: Why do people keep hiring Billy Mays to hawk their products... and who would need so many tubes of Might Putty, anyway?
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Rave: The sixth and final season of The Rockford Files comes out on DVD on January 20th of next year. Forever a classic…it received six Emmy nominations that season.
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Made for each other: Madonna and A-Rod are the perfect celebrity couple…so self absorbed, they have become clueless.
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Think about it: No one ever got more normal.
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Just asking: In LA does Hollywood cross Vine---or does Vine cross Hollywood?
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Truism: Rule on Dining Out: Never wait more than 15 minutes for a table, because the meal will rarely be worth it.
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Hmmm: And remember when Halloween was a night for kids, instead of a costume party for adults
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Born this day: Burt Lancaster, Bunny Berigan, Pat Buchanan, Daniel Boone.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming