Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 423

Saturday, February 14th, 2009---659 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 31 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Gary Sinise.
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Reading: “The Dawn Patrol” by Don Winslow.
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On the Hi Fi: Dean Martin’s “Forever Cool.”
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Under rated: Regis Toomey.
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Rave: Only Humphrey Bogart could play Sam Spade. Let us hope Hollywood never attempts to remake “The Maltese Falcon.”
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Bad News Weekly: So that beacon of the left, Newsweek, declares on its cover, “We Are All Socialists Now.” Well, speak for yourself. Oh, by the way let us know how your leftist slant is working out for you on the subscription front. The subscription rate base for the magazine is down 500,000 (16%) from a year ago.
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Rave: Two longtime crime fiction writers who will never let you down: T. Jefferson Parker and C.J. Box.
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Rant: When it comes to A-Rod and considering reinstating Hank Aaron as baseball’s home run king, Bud Selig is making it up as he goes along.
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Rant: A-Rod opts for a Peter Gammons softball interview. A-Rod rivals obama for disingenuousness. Needless to say, he doesn’t have the guts to face a real sports journalist like Bob Costas.
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Truism: The dog days of college basketball is the month of February.
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Hmmm: Jose Canseco’s next book should be entitled, “I Told You So.”
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Rant: In February of 1958, Ted Williams (then 38) signed a one-year deal worth $135,000, making him the highest-paid player in the game. The previous season he batted .388 with 38 homers. Today guys who couldn’t shine his shoes want a multiyear deal worth millions after batting well under .300.
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Pop culture watch: Just when you thought you had seen it all, along comes pole dancing.
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Truism: Michael Phelps is absolutely guilty of being a celebrity.
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Don’t Ask: The sports world could survive without the Pro Bowl.
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What’s So Funny: Same with the NBA All Star Game…a game played as if defense is a disease to be avoided.
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Quote: “It’s sacrilegious to say in the Age of obama, but it needs to be said: Home ownership is not an entitlement. Credit is not a civil right. Your property-value preservation is not my problem.” —Michelle Malkin.
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Stats: On September 25, 2002, as a member of the Braves, Andruw Jones hit three homers in four at bats. Last season, with the Dodgers, Jones hit three homers in 209 at bats. Jones just signed a minor league deal with the Rangers.
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Truism: Instead of playing H-O-R-S-E at the NBA All-Star Game, three players will instead engage in a shooting game called G-E-I-C-O. You can’t make this stuff up.
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Hmmm: You didn’t really think A-Rod and Madonna were going to live happily ever after in a little cottage with a white picket fence, did you? Why hasn’t Madonna rushed out to stand by her man?
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Quote: From Lawrence Summers, “obama’s resume contains lots of campaigning for high offices, but remarkably little tenure in such offices.”
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Nobody’s Perfect: What were the odds back in 1964 that the Pink Panther would still be around 45 years later---even if Steve Martin is a mere facsimile of Peter Sellers.
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Rave: If there is a better point guard in the NBA than Chris Paul, he is at an undisclosed location.
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Rant: The stimulus bill is the worst of all worlds---unless you are, a once-closet socialist trained in the grand academic tradition of Chicago street organizing who finally sees an opportunity to “come out” and work your wonders on the poster nation for greedy and decadent capitalism, the USA.
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Rant: Most of the so-called “shovel-ready” projects for the massive pork-spending bill are, in reality, “social-worker ready.”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Political Wry 1

2/4/09---400 Words, Average reading time: 1 Minute, 31 Seconds.
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Created because there is so much not to like about obama, his staff and regime.
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This just in: Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) is facing new questions about why he has not disclosed any royalty income on his 2007 memoir.
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Truism: It’s a safe bet that obama will not receive any awards from H&R Block.
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Rant: Ignorance of the law is no excuse when the average American worker is taken to task by the IRS…but it is good enough for obama.
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My view: Rahm Emanual is a vampire.
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Quote: “I will use whatever position I have in order to root out hypocrisy. I’m not going to be lectured as a Democrat---we’ve got some pretty strong moral values in my party, and maybe we ought to do a better job standing up and fighting for them.” ---Howard Dean.
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Rave: Another entertaining article by P.J. O’Rourke that will have you nodding in agreement.
“The Next Big Stink.”
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Hmmm: Joe “Hairplugs” Biden pontificated that it was the patriotic duty of Americans to support higher taxes. Does that mean that Daschle and Geithner should be tried for treason?
Lest we forget, Biden is the guy who donated an average of $369 to charity over the previous decade.
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Quote: “Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter.” ---Tom Daschle, aka Daschle the dodger, 1998.
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Cheese and whine: The whiner-in-chief scolded Republicans not to listen to Rush…a very unpresidential action. What do you suppose the New York Times would have said had George W. Bush has cried about Keefe Overbite and Chris Matthews?
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Quote: “I think it (obama’s Rush whine) points to a neurosis on the part of democrats. By defining themselves more by who they oppose rather than who they are, they found themselves lost without an enemy.” —Michelle Malkin.
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Rave: Michael Steele really gets it. Unlike John McCain (who thought the NYT was his friend), Michael understands that the Republican base is conservative talk radio. Sarah Palin also gets that point.
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Rant: obama’s press secretary, Robert Gibbs, is in way over his head---very ScottMcKellenesque.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 422 The Scrabble Edition

Sunday, February 1, 2009--756 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 41 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
The Scrabble Edition
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Rave: Rosalind Russell.
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Reading: “Madness Under the Palms” by Laurence Leamer.
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On the Hi Fi: Jamey Johnson---“That Lonesome Song.”
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Under rated: Warren Oates
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Rave: The UConn Women’s Basketball team is scary good!
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Quote: The unlikelihood of any negotiation reaching an agreement grows by the square of the number of parties involved.” —George Kennan, diplomat and historian.
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Didjaknow: After Miles Archer’s murder in “The Maltese Falcon,” Sam Spade (Bogart) appears in every scene.
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Passing thought: The Super Bowl began taking itself much too seriously, when it went to Roman numerals. Same for the Rocky movies.
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Didjaknow: In 1949 (Scrabble’s second year on the market), 2,413 sets were sold. By 1954, demand exceeded production.
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Rant: It is impossible for me to know specifically what liberals are talking about when they use the phrase “affordable housing.” I cannot think of any time in my life when I did not live in housing I could not afford. The liberal drive to put those into “affordable housing” who had no intention to make the payments (via the CRA) led to the current financial mess.
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English 101: “Awful” and “Terrific” are examples of words that mean the opposite of what they once meant…”full of awe” and “causing terror.”
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Didjaknow: Steelers chairman Dan Rooney (76) was named to the All-Catholic-School second team as Pittsburgh prep quarterback. The first team quarterback was Johnny Unitas(#19).
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Quote: “The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” —Joe Theismann.
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Scrabble Stats: Between one and two million sets are sold each year. One third of US households own a set. Thirty thousand games are purported to begin, somewhere in the world every hour. Sets are available in 28 foreign languages.
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Hmmm: 600 private jets flown by rich democrats flew into the obama inauguration. That seems to be okay with the left, but auto execs using theirs is a crime?
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By the numbers: The Scrabble board contains 15 rows, each with 15 squares. Sixty-one squares are worth extra points (27%). With only four “U”s---the “Q” is a possible albatross.
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Rant: If I hear one more time that some athlete needs a new contract in order to take care of his family, I am going to throw up.
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My two cents: I find myself pro-equality (of opportunity, not of outcome).
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Another quote: From Joe Torre’s new book—“The difference between Kevin Brown and David Wells is that they both made your life miserable, but David Well meant to.”
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Stats: Torre 1, Yankee Brass 0---if you’re scoring at home.
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Rave: “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger is just as entertaining a read today as it was fifty years ago in my misspent youth. Every time I read it, I discover a gem or three overlooked in previous readings. Holden Caufield is still my hero.
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Quote: From economist Thomas Sowell---“Political slogans are not meant to be thought through, are they? They are often a substitute for thinking at all.” ---
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Triple word score: Alfred Butts invented Scrabble (initially called Lexiko, then Criss-Cross Words). He lost twenty dollars the first year…eventually earning in excess of a million dollars in royalties. The US Patent Office rejected his application not once, but twice.
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Quote: “A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.” —Ambrose Bierce.
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Truism: It is BizzarroWorld when you can bet on the color of the Gatorade that will be dumped on the winning coach in the Super Bowl.
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BizzaroWorld II: 40 goofballs marched Thursday in NYC as part of the self-styled “Million Manny March” in an attempt to persuade the NY Mets to sign free agent Manny Ramirez.
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Stats: The highest individual score on record in Scrabble is 830.
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Green this: People do not tend to live in windy places. Nor do they tend to seek out homes in the desert without access to super-sized energy-guzzling air conditioners. This means an estimated 19,000 circuit miles of extra-high-voltage transmission are needed to deliver these renewable sources of energy that are the rage of the left.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.