Saturday, June 27, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 438

Saturday, June 27, 2009---744 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 32 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
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Rave: Andy Hardy
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Reading: “On the Grind” by Stephen J. Cannell.
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On the Hi Fi: Blossom Dearie’s “Teach Me Tonight.”
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Under rated: Henry Aldrich.
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Rave: With Rafael Nadal resting his knees, this Wimbledon, I find myself cheering for Great Britain’s Andy Murray.
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Hmmm: Further proof that all the good team nicknames have been taken: “Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs.”
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Didjaknow: The Portland Trail Blazers hold the record for most consecutive sellouts in professional sports (744)…followed by the Boston Celtics (567), Chicago Bulls (515) and the Boston Red Sox at 500.
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Rant: The old definition of “nitwit” used to be a kid with a baseball cap on backwards driving too fast in an SUV. The new definition? The same kid, but this time he is talking on a cell phone, too.
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Truism: If you like movies, the worst three words you can hear are “big summer flick.”
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George Will Quote of the week: “Politicians have extraordinary shoulder joints that enable them to pat themselves on the back, and last week the president, a master of that calisthenic, performed it in the Rose Garden. His subject—aside from himself, as usual—“
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R.I.P.: Kodachrome---1935-2009.
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Rant: I was shocked; shocked to learn Sammy Sosa used steroids. In a million years, I never would have suspected. Glad I was sitting down.
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Practical math: Actually, there are roughly 40 countries in the world with larger muslim populations than the USA.
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Rant: Pravda was more critical of Brezhnev than ABC (All barak Channel) is of presbo.
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Another truism: The Washington Nationals should have to go back to the minor leagues and work their way back up.
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Department of irony: During the late 1950’s and early 1960’s, Americans gathered around the television and watched family sitcoms such as “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet” (435 episodes)—“Leave It to Beaver” (235 episodes)—“Father Knows Best” (203 episodes). Seldom, if ever, were the Nelsons, Cleavers or Andersons seen watching TV.
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R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett, who defined a certain era in ways few Hollywood female stars ever did.
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Rave: Fred Lynn might have been the most graceful baseball player I ever saw.
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Rave: Baseball is better with Pedro in it.
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Yet another truism: College basketball players who leave school early — like Pitt’s DeJuan Blair and Georgetown’s DaJuan Summers — and don’t go in the first round of the NBA Draft have gotten very bad advice…or believed their own hype.
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R.I.P.: I always thought Ed McMahon was one of the good guys. About three decades as the sidekick to Johnny Carson, he spent a lot of time in America’s bedrooms. Self-effacing and a genuine patriot…I’ll miss him.
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Quote: “To object to being called sir or ma’am by anyone, especially a member of the military and especially a high ranking member of the military is to betray an ignorance of the military and a tone deafness to civility that is appalling in anyone, especially a of the United States Senate.” —Dennis Prager.
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Didjaknow: There is no such fish as a sardine.
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Quote II: “obama’s ongoing promise that he’s ‘creating or saving’ jobs is as plausible as the chess team captain’s claim that his supermodel girlfriend can’t fly down from Canada for the prom.” —Jonah Goldberg.
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Hmmm: Seems to me that more and more riding mowers are showing up on smaller and smaller lawns.
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Quote III: “I often find myself thinking that if liberals didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.” —Burt Prelutsky.
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Oh no, another truism: Your car will stop making that funny noise the moment you get it to the mechanic.
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Quote IV: “The average Democrat in Congress couldn’t properly handle the bank in a game of Monopoly, much less a real bank.” – John Hawkins.
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Rant: Every grocery-shopping cart has at least one wobbly wheel.
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Things that aren’t: Preshrunk jeans, 24-hour flu, wash & wear, one size fits all, convenience stores…discount stores are, but there is usually a good reason.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 437

Saturday, June 13, 2009---721 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 29 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
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Rave:
George Sanders
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Reading: “Three Weeks to Say Good By”—
C.J. Box.
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On the Hi Fi:
Clyde McCoy—“Basin Street Blues.”
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Under rated:
Tom Conway
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Hmmm: Why don't the airlines make black boxes that float?
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Didjaknow: The Apollo engineer’s motto in the sixties was, “Waste anything but time.”
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Quote” “We’re not bringing golf into this right now.” —John McEnroe, after his idiotic partner (Ted Robinson) in the booth at the French Open asked for a Roger Federer/Tiger Woods comparison.
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Quote II: “If I could dream to have one thing in sports. It would be to have a groundskeeper from a major league baseball team do my lawn they way they cut outfields.” —Frank Deford.
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Quote III: “Can’t we do something about limiting the number of football captains? How many mesomorphs does it take to call one coin toss?” —Frank Deford.
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$tat$: According to Visa, in the fourth quarter of 2008 (first time ever), the dollar volume of purchases made with its debit cards exceeded the dollar amount of transactions made with credit cards.
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Quote IV: “U.S. Air is a fascinating airline. Incredible terrible service and incredibly high fares.” —Ben Stein.
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Quote V: “’I,’ said the president, who is inordinately fond of the first-person singular pronoun.” —George Will. I agree---he’s a glib and sophomoric narcissist.
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Didjaknow: GM’s current market capitalization is about the same as California Pizza Kitchen…wonder if California Pizza is “too big to fail.”
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History 101: Actually, it was the ancient Babylonians who invented algebra---the compass and the pen were invented by the Chinese.
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Marketing 101: Good slogan for the new GM (Government Motors)---“You own the company. Why not drive the car?
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Truism: The switch to high definition television still leaves us without high quality television.
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Rant: The current administration has more Tsars than the Romanov’s.
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Ever Wonder: Why are Roman numerals used to denote the year of copyright for motion pictures?
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I guess they missed the memo: The terrorists who bombed a Pakistan hotel shortly after presbo’s Cairo hopey-changey love poem to the Muslim World failed to realize they were members of a peaceful religion. Presbo’s is aspiring to become Jimmy Carter.
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Rant: NBC was showing soap operas while Roger Federer came back to make the French Open finals…on his way to making history.
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Rave: ESPN did a wonderful job broadcasting the opening rounds of the French Open. Grand Slam Tennis tournaments and the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament should be taken over by dedicated cable sports channels.
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Bijou BIZ: The caper flick is a subgenre of crime film. The typical caper story involves one or more crimes (especially thefts, swindles, or occasionally kidnappings) perpetrated by the main characters in full view of the viewer. The caper story is distinguished from the straight crime story by elements of humor, adventure, or unusual cleverness or audacity. Usually the viewer winds up cheering for those pulling off the caper. Among my favorite caper movies:
Ocean’s Eleven (The 1960 original), Charlie Varrick, The Sting, The Hot Rock, The Asphalt Jungle, Catch Me if You Can, Kelly’s Heroes, Thomas Crown Affair (the 1968 original with Steve McQueen), The Getaway, Sneakers, The War Wagon, Topkapi.
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Truism: in his prime, George Steinbrenner would be firing concession workers by now.
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Rant: Is there a more groveling, fawning, breathless “newsman” than Brian Williams doing his uncritical, unbiased piece on obama?
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Hmmm: Since when did sweat pants become a fashion statement?
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Rant: Anyone shocked that Alabama is on probation, probably has yet to come to grips with the news that pro wrestling is fake.
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Hmmm: Why would anyone think the government will do a good job running health care or the auto companies---after all, they have done such a smashing job running Amtrak and the post office? Governments should govern, not micromanage the economy.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 436

Saturday, June 06, 2009---778 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 47 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
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Rave: Nick Charles
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Reading: Sean Chercover’s “Trigger City.”
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On the Hi Fi: “Artistry in Rhythm” by Stan Kenton.
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Under rated: Philo Vance
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Rave: South Florida has never looked better in any movie or TV than it does in “Burn Notice.” It returned for season three last Thursday on USA Network at a new time---9 PM. Episode one was a keeper.
Royal Pains” follows at 10---its debut show was a winner.
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Didjaknow: eBay is the largest retailer of cars in the world.
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Truism: You’ve got way too much time on your hands, if the TV promos for Will Farrell’s new flick got you to buy a ticket.
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Stats: The Washington Nationals are on a 115 loss pace.
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Rant: Not certain where we go after Twitter, as communication continues to devolve.
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Hmmm: Is there any athlete more taken for granted than Roger Federer?
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But who’s counting: According to the Global Language Monitor (GLM), the number of words in the English language is 999,050…passing the one million mark around June 10th. Among the latest words under consideration: defriend, greenwashing and noob.
More GLM---In Shakespeare’s day there were only two million folks speaking English and fewer than 100,000 words. Old Bill coined approximately 1,700 words…Thomas Jefferson, about 200. Currently, English words are added at the rate of 14.7 per day.
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Didjaknow: Every new penny issued by the US costs the Mint about 1.7 cents to manufacture.
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To paraphrase Benjamin Disraeli: “obama is a self-made man, very much in love with his creator.”
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Hmmm: What happened to “The Fabulous Sports Babe”?
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Rave: Love the latest tagline for Post’s Shredded Wheat, a product unchanged for about a century: "We put the 'no' in 'innovation.’"
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Quote: About the US response to the latest North Korean nuke test---“obama said the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with the strongest possible adjectives.” —Andy Borowitz.
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Rave: Michael Connelly’s “The Scarecrow is a high velocity read. Absorbing plot, engaging characters---a perfect summer read.
Effectively, two plots woven together…a bittersweet paean to the departing world of print journalism, disguised as a serial murder mystery.
It is a fascinating, thought-provoking thriller reuniting investigative reporter Jack McEvoy and FBI agent Rachel Walling.
After reading it you will not think about using the Internet in quite the same way.
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Hmmm: Men's Fitness magazine just picked its list of the 25 Fittest Men in America. The No. 1 spot went to Spanish tennis player Rafael Nadal. What part of America is Spain in?
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Quote: “When I recently compared obama’s spending spree to that of a drunken sailor, a few readers took umbrage, pointing out that the sailor is spending his own money, not ours. So I am taking this opportunity to offer my sincere apologies to drunken sailors everywhere.” —Burt Prelutsky.
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My take: I miss irrational exuberance!
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Compassion: Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. Currently it is number 1,000,000,001.
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Rant: Conan O’Brien’s appeal completely eludes me…then again, so does the appeal of text messaging. Hell can’t be any worse than having to respond to 80 text messages a day.
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In case you were worried: Madonna seems to have rebounded from A-Rod.
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Quote: “Either Nancy Pelosi is lying her backside off regarding her knowledge of the CIA’s irrigation for information techniques, or one of the side effects of a high dollar Botox habit includes severe short-term memory loss.” —Doug Giles.
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Rant: Why do we have to put up with visiting celebs being a constant distraction during televised baseball games and tennis matches?
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Quote: “obama likes to talk about a new era of responsibility, but he has a curious understanding of the concept. When you are in debt, responsibility is spending less and saving more. Imposing discipline. Budgeting for the future. It is not borrowing from Matthew to pay Mark while taxing Luke to weatherize John’s house.” —Matthew Continetti.
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Didjaknow: Texas created more new jobs in 2008 than all other 49 states combined. In addition, Texas is the only state other than Georgia and North Dakota that is cutting taxes this year.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

What's Wrong With This Picture

Meanwhile, back at the New York Times.

On the front page (below the fold) of today's New York Times is a story on the killing of Tiller (the head of one of only three late term abortion clinics in the USA).

The paper has an editorial referring to Tiller as a saint.

You have to get to page 16A to locate the story about the murder of a US Army recruiter in Arkansas by am Islamic convert.