Saturday, October 31, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 456

Saturday, October 31, 2009---616 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 9 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Ben Stein
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Reading: “Total Immunity” by
Robert Ward.
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On the Hi Fi: “
The George and Ira Gershwin Songbook”—Various Artists such as Eartha Kitt, Dinah Shore, Della Reese, June Valli, Gogi Grant and Frankie Carle.
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Under rated:
Roy Thinnes.
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Quote: “Political correctness remains the handmaiden of terrorism.” —
Michelle Malkin.
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Rant: I cannot remember a World Series I had less interest in than this Yankee-Phillies match up. I would much rather see the black and white films of the
1950 Yankees vs the Philadelphia Whiz Kids.
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Good advice: Don’t rub your eyes after reading the newspaper.
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Truism:
Michele Bachmann is one tough cookie. I wish she was my congressional representative.
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This just in: PMSNBC’s Chris Mathews beat the Sham-Wow guy in the coveted 18-54 demo.
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Sapphire Anniversary: 45 years ago this past Tuesday,
Ronald Reagan’s “Rendezvous with Destiny” speech for Republican Presidential candidate Barry Goldwater was broadcast.
While I could not repeat it word for word, I can remember precisely how powerful the speech was. Had it been made three months before the election instead of a week before…who knows what history would have been made.
As it was, sixteen years later Ronald Reagan became the finest President of my lifetime.
That speech was inspirational, prescient beyond words, timeless in its wisdom, and a stern warning about the government's infringement upon our freedoms.
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Beware: Look out for those who drive by steering with their elbows.
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Didjaknow: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Doppelganger alert: White Press Buffoon, Robert Gibbs reminds me of Sgt. Schultz of “Hogan’s Heroes” fame.
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Rave:
“The Invaders” was a big favorite for me. A Quinn Martin Production…under rated cast, nifty special effects (especially for 1967) and intriguing plots. Among the high profile guest stars were Roddy McDowell, Ed Asner, a young Gene Hackman, Barbara Hershey, Suzanne Pleshette, Diana Muldaur, Will Geer, Sally Kellerman and Burgess Meredith. Raise your hand if you know how to identify those aliens.
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Truism: With each passing day, I find there are fewer things worth waiting in line for.
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Idle thought: Looks like your swine flu shot will be put in your Christmas stocking. Just a precursor to health care rationing the obamapelosireidcare bill will feature.
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Rave: Speaking of
Joe Namath, you can make the case that athlete-as-celebrity started with him.
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Rant: Lindsay Lohan has become the perfect celebrity: in the news all the time for not doing much of anything.
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Truism: Those who think there is good in everybody, haven't met everybody.
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Free advice: Assume no one can or will keep a secret.
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Hmmm: Written visions, missions, and goals are not as important as knowing what you are supposed to do when you show up for work each morning.
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Rant: In the NBA, the New Jersey Nets are offering four courtside seats for ten games along with the opportunity to have a player come to your kid’s birthday party---all for the princely sum of $25,000. My take: For $25,000, the Nets should lets you play in the game
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 455

Sunday, October 25, 2009---653 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 15 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave: “
Terry and the Pirates.”
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Reading:
“The Night Monster”—James Swain.
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On the Hi Fi: The Best of the
Ink Spots.
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Under rated: “
Steve Canyon.”
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Quote: “Many people want government to protect the consumer. A much more urgent problem is to protect the consumer from the government.” —Economist
Milton Friedman.
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Always remember: Turn your computer on when you are in the office…even if all it shows are flying toasters.
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Good bromide: Be wary of those whose hair is never mussed up.
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Truism: Ann Coulter is one tough cookie. “Liberals never, ever drop a heinous idea; they just change the name. ‘Abortion’ becomes ‘choice,’ ‘communist’ becomes ‘progressive,’ ‘communist dictatorship’ becomes ‘people’s democratic republic,’ and ‘Nikita Khrushchev’ becomes ‘barack obama.’”
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Pop Quiz: What U.S. President’s portrait is on the two-dollar bill?
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Hmmm: The hopelessly incompetent are absolutely certain of their abilities.
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Rave: I enjoy the “
Mike Hammer” series shown on Retro-TV each Sunday night. The series lasted two seasons from 1958 to 1960 and starred Darren McGavin. Admittedly, it was filmed on the cheap and the sets were cheesy…but McGavin’s roguish charm and mischievously whimsical acting keep me entertained.
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Truism: Overnight packages sent for Saturday delivery are usually read on Monday.
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Another truism: Expect faxes and printouts to be missing if they are not picked up within fifteen minutes.
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Beware: When someone tells you, “something good is about to happen to you,” get ready to buy something.
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Rave: The USA Network has another winner with “
White Collar” as long as the series can live up to the crackling electricity of the pilot. Wonderful casting, snappy dialog, energetic performances and just plain big fun. It’s in the sophisticated heist/caper genre---with “It Takes a Thief” and “Catch Me if You Can” in its family tree…and homage to the Rat Pack.
It joins the other superb “characters welcome” USA line-up: “
Burn Notice,” Psych,” Royal Pains,” “In Plain Sight” and the departing “Monk.”
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Count on it: Rock bottom is always deeper than you think.
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This true: Learning how not to lose things is a good way to avoid insanity.
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Changing times: The proposed limit on medical expense deductions and the desire to cut Medicare and Medicaid by $500 billion, make obama and Baucus unlike Democrats from the past. Those dims defended the elderly and the sick, rather than cut the former and tax the latter.
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Hmmm: Sometimes it is easier and cheaper to try something and see what happens than to study and analyze it.
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This Just In: Bjorn Halvard, a 19-year-old Norwegian won the
Monopoly World Championship in Las Vegas with the iron token. The prize money was $20, 580, the total amount in the bank of a standard Monopoly game.
Parker Brothers bought the patent for “Monopoly” from Charles Darrow in 1935…that year it was the biggest selling game in the USA.
In Cuba, the game had a strong following until Fidel Castro took power and ordered all known sets destroyed.
The three most-landed-on properties are Illinois Avenue, "GO" and the B&O Railroad.
There are 32 houses and 12 hotels, so you can create a housing shortage.
Most likely, a “Chance” card will send you to another place, while a “Community Chest” card will, in all likelihood, reward you.
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Quiz answer: Thomas Jefferson.
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ASAP: Cash bonus checks as soon as you get them!
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 454

Thursday, October 15, 2009---667 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 8 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Patti Austin.
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Reading: “Pursuit of Honor” by
Vince Flynn.
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On the Hi Fi:
Fletcher Henderson’s “Christopher Columbus.”
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Under rated:
Marie Windsor.
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Quote: “The true burden of government is not the tax level, but the spending level.” —
Milton Friedman.
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Truism:
Condi Rice is one tough cookie.
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Hmmm: What does a dog do on its day off?
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Rave:
Michael Connelly’s “9 Dragons” is the finest novel I have read this year. His writing continues to evolve and just gets better with each book.
LAPD Homicide Detective Harry Bosch is lead investigator on a liquor store robbery and the murder of its Asian owner. The investigation points to the Asian gang, The Triad, who were collecting protection money from the victim.
Bosch’s inquiries upset some heavy hitters…resulting in the abduction of Harry’s 13 year old daughter unless he kicks the suspect free.
His daughter lives in Hong Kong with Harry’s estranged wife. Bosch is on the next plane to Hong Kong.
The detective has about 24 hours to locate his daughter, before the murder suspect will be released.
The attention to detail on the police procedurals in both the LA murder and Hong Kong abduction is tightly woven; the pacing is relentless; the diverse array of characters possess a muscular elegance; the plot ingenious and full of
dark corners, hazy shadows, neon lights and dead ends.
“9 Dragons” employs perhaps the finest red herring in recent memory---leading the reader in one direction while preparing a most unexpected denouement.
Michael Connelly is more than a crime writer…if you read only one book this year; this uncompromising novel is the one.
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Know this: “Agree in concept” is a long way from “I agree.”
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Quote: “400,000 foreign patients come here every year for medical care. Not too many people get on a plane to fly to Cuba or to France to see a doctor.” —Dr. Stanley Goldfarb, Associate Dean, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.
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Truism: The support staff remains the backbone of almost all organizations.
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Didjaknow: Since MLB introduced the wild card, the team with best record in baseball has won only one World Series…the 1998 Yankees.
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Stats: The team with worst record in the playoffs has won two World Series…2000 Yankees and 2006 Cardinals.
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Didjaknow: The last time the AL and NL teams with the best regular season records met in the World Series was 1999---Yankees and Braves.
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Micro-stats: Just three times have the best eight teams gone on to the playoffs…1996, 2002 and 2004.
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Quote: “In short, I don't root against President obama because I hate America. I root against President obama because I hate his vision for America.” —
Ben Shapiro.
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Hmmm: Is there any truth to the rumor that obama won the Nobel Prize because he was the 10th caller?
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Hmmm: Golf returns to the 2016 Olympics for the first time in more than a hundred years…there are only two 18-hole courses in Rio.
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Truism: Nancy Pelosi was so thrilled that obama won the Nobel Appeasement Prize that her expression almost changed.
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Rant: “The system will be down” is one of the few constants in business.
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Rave: Never forgetting who your friends are is a good thing to be known for.
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Remember: Presentations need not be fancy to be effective…it is the message, not the technology.
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Quote: “For every system you create, we’ll create an equal and opposite system.” —The employees.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

"9 Dragons" by Michael Connelly

Michael Connelly’s “9 Dragons” is the finest novel I have read this year. His writing continues to evolve and just gets better with each book.

LAPD Homicide Detective Harry Bosch is lead investigator on a liquor store robbery and the murder of its Asian owner. The investigation points to the Asian gang, The Triad, who were collecting protection money from the victim.

Bosch’s inquiries upset some heavy hitters…resulting in the abduction of Harry’s 13 year old daughter unless he kicks the suspect free.

His daughter lives in Hong Kong with Harry’s estranged wife. Bosch is on the next plane to Hong Kong.

The detective has about 24 hours to locate his daughter, before the murder suspect will be released.

The attention to detail on the police procedurals in both the LA murder and Hong Kong abduction is tightly woven; the pacing is relentless; the diverse array of characters possess a muscular elegance; the plot ingenious and full of dark corners, hazy shadows, neon lights and dead ends.

“9 Dragons” employs perhaps the finest red herring in recent memory---leading the reader in one direction while preparing a most unexpected denouement.

Michael Connelly is more than a crime writer…if you read only one book this year; this uncompromising novel is the one.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 453

Saturday, October 10, 2009---757 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 18 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave: Mason Williams.
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Reading: “Parallel Lies” by Ridley Pearson.
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On the Hi Fi: Jimmy Dorsey’s “Perfidia.”
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Under rated: Wil Andersen.
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Quote: “Dilbert has done more to tell the truth about work than all the latest business books combined.” —Richard Moran.
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Truism: Megyn Kelly is one tough cookie.
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Know this: “Agree in concept” is a long way from “I agree.”
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Quote: “A joke is a very serious thing.” —Sir Winston Churchill.
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Quote: For something to be funny, the audience has to be in a position to sense the truth of it.” Gary Trudeau. And, SNL’s lampoon of obama was funny!
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Quote: “You don’t have to be on TV every day. You’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law and Order.’”—Bill Maher—“You’re skinny and in a hurry and in love with a nice lady, but so is Lindsay Lohan. And just like Lindsay, we see your name in the paper a lot, but we are kind of wondering when you’re actually going to do something.”
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Rave & Rant: The MLB post season is all great theater, and it’s about time, for the past month or so has been a baseball version of waiting for Godot. Most September baseball games have as much meaning as those March Spring Training clashes.
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Factoid: The 1990 Cincinnati Reds won only 91 games; did not have a pitcher who won 16 games; did not have a hitter who drove in 90 runs. However, they swept the A’s in the World Series.
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Didjaknow: Babe Ruth had a lower lifetime earned run average than Cy Young, Whitey Ford or Sandy Koufax. During his early years with the Red Sox, the Babe pitched nine shutouts in a season---still the American League record for a left-handed pitcher. He could have made the Hall of fame without ever hitting a home run.
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Post game wrap-up: Olympic Committee 1, obama 0---if you’re scoring at home.
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Stats: Regular season MLB attendance was down 7% this season.
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Rant: A 9:37 PM start time for AL Division Red Sox/Angeles is simply unconscionable.
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Didjaknow: Those of us living in the USA watch an average of 151 hours of television a month.
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Next step: If your checkbook never balances, change banks.
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Hmmm: There is no truth to the rumor that obama was going to declare war on Denmark after Chicago lost the Olympic bid…instead he blamed George W. Bush. It was on W’s watch that Chicago went from the initial three-dozen-plus sites to the Final Four. presbo earned both the blown save and the loss.
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Murphy’s Law: The sun will always shine on your computer screen when you don’t want it to.
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Truism: Always keep the ball in their court.
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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: I was certain the Nobel committee meant the Nobel Appeasement Prize.
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Rave: So happy to see Michael Moore’s movie flopping at the box office. Too bad, so sad.
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Truism: Looks like this year’s scariest Halloween masks are Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.
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Fashion Police: Ignore any new fashion trend with its roots in the 1960s or 1970s.
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Rant: If you wear six-inch heels, don’t complain about them.
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Rant: “Civil Service mentality” is never used to describe a highly effective and efficient work group.
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Pop Quiz: This one is a multiple choice. If you were the Commander In Chief, whose advice would you think would be the most worthwhile concerning the best course of action in Afghanistan?
A) General Pelosi
B) General Biden
C) General Reid
D) General McChrystal
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Truism: Jabbing the elevator button incessantly will not make it appear faster.
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Good Advice: Use the phrase “value added” no more than once a week.
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Even Better Advice: Go to any meeting where food is served. If something productive also gets done in the meeting, it’s a bonus.
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Extremely good advice: If you are going to project a computer onto a large screen, be certain one of your icons is not labeled “porn.”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Curmudgeon In The Political Wry-3 --2016 Olympics

Tuesday, October 06, 2009---274 Words, Average reading time 0 Minutes, 54 Seconds.
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Created because there is so much not to like about obama, his staff and regime.
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Credit where credit is due: The leftist whining about George W. Bush being the cause of Chicago’s loss of the 2016 Olympics would be funny, were it not so pathetic and absurd.
Who do these liberal brainiacs think got Chicago on the ballot and into the Final Four?
Obama lost this one on his own. Mr. Bush got Chicago to the starting line. Not W’s fault that Chicago neither won, placed nor showed.
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Math 101: In case you were not scoring at home during the obamas’ Billy Mays pitch for the Olympics, George Will was kind enough to do the calculations.
This from his latest column: “Both Obamas gave heartfelt speeches about … themselves. Although the working of the committee's mind is murky, it could reasonably have rejected Chicago's bid for the 2016 games on aesthetic grounds — unless narcissism has suddenly become an Olympic sport.
In the 41 sentences of her remarks, Michelle Obama used some form of the personal pronouns “I” or “me” 44 times. Her husband was, comparatively, a shrinking violet, using those pronouns only 26 times in 48 sentences.
Still, 70 times in 89 sentences was sufficient to convey the message that somehow their fascinating selves were what made, or should have made, Chicago's case compelling.”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can’t read, thank the teacher’s union. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 452

Friday, October 02, 2009---737 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 25 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Orson Bean
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Reading: “Ties That Bind” by
Phillip Margolin.
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On the Hi Fi: “Anita Sings the Most”—
Anita O’Day.
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Under rated:
Richard Jaeckel
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Quote: “There are no ordinary cats.” —Colette.
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Truism:
Tammy Bruce is one tough cookie.
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Quote: “Political correctness remains the handmaiden of terrorism.” —
Michelle Malkin.
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Hmmm: What are shadows made of?
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Conventional wisdom: If you see your name on a yellow stickie on a conference room wall, something very good or very bad is about to happen to you.
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Factoid: The Boston Red Sox are the American League Wild Card team for the seventh time…a major league record.
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Identity theft alert: The 2010 Census Workers are allowed to contact you by phone, mail or in person…but not via email. So---be on the lookout for email scams impersonating the US Census Bureau. Play it safe and never click on a link or open any attachments in an email that purports to be from the US Census Bureau.
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More Census info: Ask to see their badge and ID before giving them any info. Do not give your Social Security number, credit card numbers or banking info to anyone…no matter what they tell you. Make certain not to tip them.
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Rave: With the Bosox in the post-season, I have a rooting interest…for as far as they go.
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Stats: Sarah Palin’s book, “
Going Rogue” is number one on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble Online bestseller lists---and release date is mid-November.
Glenn Beck has the #1 Hardcover Non Fiction (“
Arguing with Idiots”) and the #1 Non Fiction Paperback (“Common Sense”) on the liberal NY Times lists. The irony is that the NYT has yet to review any of the #1 best sellers written by conservatives…leading me to conclude that you can’t fool all the people…just the easily fooled.


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Truism: Political correctness and truth are not the same.
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Stats: In international comparisons, American 12th graders rank in the 14th percentile in math and the 29th percentile in science. That’s how great a job our government schools are doing.
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Truism II: I could have had a career in major league baseball had I not lacked size, speed, hand-eye coordination and talent.
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Quote: "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." --
Ronald Reagan
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Truism III: Not matter how much I practice, it still takes me 45 minutes to swim a half hour.
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Blame it on Rio: Well, I guess hubris, smugness and serial narcissism were not enough to enchant the IOC voters for the 2016 games. Perhaps, had presbo not spent his first eight months apologizing and putting down the USA; and proffered speeches of
American Exceptionalism, the voters might have thought awarding the games to our great country a good thing. obama reaped what he sowed. Sometimes those self-congratulatory trips just don’t pan out. Too bad, so sad.
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Rio Redux: I myself will prefer the cut away shots of the beaches of Rio where we can see the
tanned girls from Ipanema in their string bikinis to those shots of the shores of Lake Michigan filled with obese, fish-belly white, beered up White Sox fans.
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Factoid: One size fits all is never true…especially in hats.
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Hmmm: The best thing about creating a “to-do” list is the ability to cross things off.
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Follow up: Should you accomplish something significant not on the list, write it down so you can cross it off.
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English 101: “Okay” is not a punctuation mark. It should not be substituted for a comma, a question mark, or the question “Are you with me?’
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Rant: Business buzzwords are like Top40 songs. At first, they bring a smile or capture a thought, but you are soon sick of them…think “value added paradigms.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.