Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 463

Tuesday, December 29, 2009---641 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 20 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Kay Kyser
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Reading:
“Stardust” by Joseph Kanon.
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On the Hi Fi: “The
Harry Nilsson Anthology.”
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Under rated:
Ish Kabibble
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Rave:
Dana Perino is one tough cookie.
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Truism: Books are easy to operate and to maintain. No special instructions or tools are required.
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Rave:
VistaVision
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Quote: “No one has ever bet enough on a winning horse.” -- Richard Sasuly
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Didjaknow: Duke and North Carolina have made a combined 32 Final Four appearances. They have gotten there at the same time only once—in 1991.
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Quote: “I am not a role model. I am not paid to be a role model. I am paid the wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I can dunk a basketball, doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.” —
Charles Barkley.
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Truism: Hell cannot be much worse than a mall parking lot a few days before Christmas.
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Hmmm: Shaq is better in commercials these days than he is on the court.
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Hmmm: And, politicians are better when on vacation.
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Truism: Al Gore is the Bernie Madoff of the science community.
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Must See TV: Saturday, 1/2/10 at 3 PM on CBS it’s Louisville at Kentucky.
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Quote: “It would have been unprecedented had the president not described the outcome of the Copenhagen climate change summit as ‘unprecedented,’ that being the most overworked word in his hardworking vocabulary of self-celebration.” —George Will.
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Stats: UConn’s men’s basketball team has the second lowest percentage of bench minutes in Division I.
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More Stats: Billy Donovan’s Florida Gators are the SEC’s 11th ranked team in 3-point percentage---yet they have taken 14 more shots from behind the arc than free throws.
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Counter-intuitive Stat: The Kentucky Wildcats are ranked 147th in the nation in tempo, according
kenpom.com. Playing at that average pace, it makes their 15.9 turnovers per game (highest in the SEC) even more troubling. No matter---John Wall is the most exciting college to watch since J.J. Redick graduated.
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Didjaknow: Los Angeles has been without an NFL team since 1994---that truly defies belief, if you think about it. However, some think Pete Carroll’s USC is really a professional team, so what’s the difference.
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Rant: Only one of the college bowl games is anything other than a glorified exhibition.
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Random stats: Purdue is ranked 114th in tempo. #2 ranked Texas is ranked 11th in the Big 12 in three-point shooting {35.8%} and 303rd in foul shooting (62.5%).
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Quote: I wonder if anyone else has noticed that whenever a black conservative voices an opinion, the liberal claque insists that he’s not an authentic black, and when a white conservative voices an opinion, obama’s sycophants insist he’s not an authentic American.” —Burt Prelutsky.
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Didjaknow: Big flops on the field, the Washington Redskins bring in more revenue than do the Yankees. After Manchester United and the Dallas Cowboys, the Skins are third-most valuable sports franchise.
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Rant: When big-sis Janet Napolitano assured U.S. citizens that “the system worked,” I thought a field sobriety test was in order. This, of course, is the same Napolitano in charge of protecting our borders, who doesn’t think crossing the border illegally is a crime.
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Quote: “Family and traditional values of personal behavior—once the moral glue holding us together—are now mere life style options.” —
Star Parker.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 462

Sunday, December 20, 2009---668 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
John Stossel.
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Reading: “
Stardust” by Joseph Kanon.
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On the Hi Fi: “Lady in Satin”—
Billie Holiday.
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Under rated:
Mary Astor.
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Rave: Chris DeCarlo is one tough cookie.
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Rave: The older I get, the more I like Christmas music…
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Rave:…and the more I enjoy the tastes of Christmas---egg-nog, marzipan,
pfferneuse , petit fours... +++++++
Rave:…and the more intoxicating the smell of gingerbread, fresh pine wreaths and live Christmas trees…
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Rant:…and the weaker I think the refrain, “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.”
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Speaking of Christmas: Permit me to say what the obama’s card does not: Merry Christmas.
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Didjaknow: Rick Pitino called his players imposters after they lost to at home to Western Carolina.
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TV Timeout: If you think the NFL season is starting to drag now---imagine what an 18 game schedule would feel like. An expanded season guarantees a lot more meaningless games. Sorta like major league baseball.
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TV Timeout II: 34 bowl games is ridiculous. There are a handful of 6-6 teams involved. They should name at least one game “The Mediocre Bowl.” Imagine the school cheering, “We’re # 64!” Adding 32 teams to the NCAA March Madness Tournament would bring forth the same weaknesses to a strong event.
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Truism: Too much fame and too much money does no one any good.
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Quote: “
I try to avoid hyperbole, but I think obama is possibly the most dangerous and destructive president we have ever had.” Nat Hentoff
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Rant: Let someone else go to the movies with computer-generated imagery---not me.
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Didjaknow: It may be counter-intuitive, but every move the Big East has made in last 25 years has been for football, not basketball.
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Hmmm: Word is that A-Rod and Kate Hudson won’t be standing underneath the mistletoe this Christmas.
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Quote: “Nobody believes a weather prediction twelve hours ahead. Now we’re asked to believe a prediction that goes 100 years into the future? And make financial investments based on that prediction? Has everyone lost their minds?” —Michael Crichton.
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This just in: That paragon of virtue, Ron Artest, recently referred to Tiger Woods as the perfect role model. My question to Artest---what’s a bad role model?
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Rave: When The History Channel is not running nonsense like “Ice Road Truckers,” “Pawn Stars,” “Ax Men,” “MonsterQuest,” “Predator X” and “Gangland;” it’s a wonderful way to enjoy the telling of history. They make history fun…when they stay on subject.
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Quote: “Speaking of pelosi, considering that it’s been a very long time since the speaker was able to blink her eyes or to look anything but startled, do you think her plastic surgeon ever tells potential clients that he’s the schlemiel who did the job.” —
Burt Prelutsky.
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Rant: I still think the NCAA is off base in making member schools eliminate mascots and nicknames of Indians. The universities use mascots for motivation and inspiration…not to demean something. Another case of the tyranny of political correctness.
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Rave: Among TV’s best opening credits are “
The Wild, Wild West” (maybe the best) and “I Spy.”
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Quote: “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” —George Orwell.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 461

Tuesday, December 15, 2009---709 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 26 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave: Alan Ladd
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Reading: “Pirate Latitudes”--- Michael Crichton
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On the Hi Fi: Phil Woods Live
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Under rated: Veronica Lake
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Rave: Liz Cheney is one tough cookie.
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Rave: When entering a revolving door, timing is everything.
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Didjaknow: Cincinnati was unranked at the start of college football season.
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TV Timeout: The least watched BCS attraction to date...last season’s Orange Bowl between Cincinnati and Virginia Tech. This year, the Fiesta Bowl between Boise State and TCU may claim that dubious prize.
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Truism: Former Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis went from the Golden Dome to the Golden Parachute.
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Quote: “Whenever things sound easy, it turns out there is one part you didn’t hear.” —Donald Westlake.
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Rant: In a moment of blatant hubris (a place he often inhabits), presbo gave himself a B+ on the dubious achievements of his initial eleven months in office. Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, 46% of the US citizenry give him a favorable or somewhat favorable job-approval rating. Even at Harvard, that is failing grade. Oh, I get it---he was grading himself on the narcissistic curve.
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Meaningless Stats: I think “bench points” is among the most over-rated stats in college basketball. They are on the bench because they are not as good at scoring as the starting five. If you want to excel in that stat, start a couple of the subs and replace them with the front players early in the game.
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Hmmm: If Tiger Woods did not kill the text-messaging craze, nothing will.
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Rant: Congress should come with a warning label reading, “Hazardous to America’s health.”
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Quote: “If you are one of those dunderheads who actually believes that the UN---with such prominent members as Russia, China, Iran, Egypt, North Korea, Yemen, Syria, Somalia, Cuba, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan---is a force for good, you really should seek professional help.” —Burt Prelutsky.
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Rant: I can think of nothing worse than expanding the NCAA Basketball Tournament to 96 teams. Why add 32 additional mediocre teams?
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Truism: Since the increase in the minimum wage {pushed thru by the liberal Democrats} began in July, there have been a loss of about 330,000 low wage jobs. Entry-level teenagers have been the hardest hit. I guess this is George Bush’s fault.
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Good advice: Pretend to be smart…even when you are clueless.
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Looking ahead: Having a vision does not necessarily help with you are supposed to do next week.
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Squeeze play: Outstanding baseball analyst Peter Gammons leaving ESPN after 20 years for the MLB Network is a huge loss for viewers who value coherent commentary. Now we can be subjected to observations that are moronic from such astute people as John Kruk, Chris Singleton and Eric Young.
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Truism: No news is not good news in sales, consulting or interviewing.
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Factoid: The AP assigned 11 reporters to fact-check Sarah Palin’s new book. This is the same AP that assigned exactly 2 (two) reporters to read through the more than four thousand pages of the obama healthcare bills.
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Didjaknow: No word in the English language rhymes with bulb.
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Truism: In some memos, the only thing that matters is the CCs.
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Rant: Filling out a bracket would never be the same with a field of 96 teams.
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Truism: The ups and downs in temperature are what rational people call “the weather.”
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Hmmm: Tiger’s squeaky-clean image attempted to portray him as Ward Cleaver with a better golf game. Turns out the Woods family is not Ozzie and Harriet.
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Quote: “Why can’t liberals understand that the economic power of America is in Americans, not in government? Is it because this president and much of his administration have never punched a time clock or run a business?” —Cal Thomas.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 460

Saturday, December 05, 2009---752 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 28 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Keyser Soze.
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Reading: “Pirate Latitudes”--- Michael Crichton
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On the Hi Fi: Lionel Hampton--"Tempo and Swing."
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Under rated:
Verbal Kint.
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Rave:
Liz Wiehl is one tough cookie.
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Didjaknow: Los Angeles has more medical marijuana dispensaries than it has Starbucks locations.
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Quote: “When government sets simple rules that everyone understands and then gets out of the way, free people create jobs.” —
John Stossel.
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Good advice: Always buy property when playing Monopoly.
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Truism: Mississippi State makes more television dough than does the legendary Notre Dame.
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Didjaknow: The University of Alabama has never had a Heisman Trophy winner…
Joe Namath never finished in the Top 10 while playing for the Tide.
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Rant: During a CBS broadcast of College basketball, the only thing that drives me crazier than the inane Clark Kellogg, is that CBS fails to have a shot clock countdown graphic.
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Rave: Say what you might about FSU’s Bobby Bowden staying too long at the party---he was always a class act in both victory and defeat.
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Truism: If you do not have a lifetime supply of return-address stickers courtesy of various charities seeking your support…you probably lack a fixed address. Same with calendars.
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Rant: Would you have thought Tiger Woods’s life would become a country song? There is no doubt in my mind that the media magpies and talking heads will be fawning over him in no time…and fans cheering things like “you’re the man.” In this day and age, celebrity trumps shame.
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Hmmm: What do you call it when 74-year-old Dick Enberg pairs up with Jerry Coleman (85) next season for the Padres broadcast team? A youth movement.
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Rant: This J.P. Morgan chart points out that less than 10% of the o-bow-ma cabinet has private sector experience…the least of any cabinet in over a century. From the stimulus, to the health insurance reform fiasco, to cap and tax, etc. the o-bow-ma team thinks they can run anything…when in reality they can barely run anything. And you wonder why the jobs picture continues to get worse!



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Bumper Sticker of the Week: “Beware of liberals posing as Americans.”
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Truism: Joining such disingenuous sayings as “the check’s in the mail,” we should add, “leaving to spend more time with my family.”
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Rave: John Wall (University of Kentucky freshman point guard) and Florida’s freshman point guard Kenny Boynton are the real deal. Both their teams will go deep into the March Madness competition.
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$tat$: Since last spring, the number of bank credit cards has dropped 100 million (about 25%). Banks are tightening credit standards---good move---while consumers are canceling cards.--Mark Zandi of Moody’s Economy.
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Rant: While using the brave West Point cadets as a prop for his Afghanistan speech, presbo continued his personal narrative by using the word “I” 43 (forty-three) times---not one time did he utter the word victory. He is sure in love with the man in the mirror.
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Faux man: If o-bow-ma were still a Senator and a Republican president proposed a troop buildup in Afghanistan…he’d probably vote against it.
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Truism: Some people are so busy being clever that they don’t have time to be wise.
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Quote: “Since this is the era when many people are concerned about ‘fairness’ and ‘social justice,’ what is your ‘fair share’ of what someone else has worked for?”--Thomas Sowell.
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Didjaknow: Since 1914 there have been at least 50 versions of “A Christmas carol” produced for either TV or the movies. Among those who have given voice to “Bah humbug” are George C. Scott, Jack Palance, Michael Caine, Albert Finney, Frederic March and Walter Matthau.
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Hmmm: Do you think for even a second that pelosi would vote for a health insurance plan that rationed botox or plastic surgery?
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Business 101: Never put anyone on hold for more than one minute, unless the customer enjoys being left on hold.
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Business 101 corollary: If you wish to hear the voice of the customer, try answering the telephone.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.