Saturday, September 18, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 486




Saturday, September 18, 2010---718 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 19 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Ray Milland.

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Reading: “Dead Man’s Hand, Crime Fiction at the Poker Table” edited by Otto Penzler.

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On the Hi Fi: “The Victor Sessions” by Sidney Bechet.

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Under rated: Zachary Scott.

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I miss: Dave McNally (Baltimore’s other #19), Lana Turner, Sam Cooke.


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Rave: TNT’s “Rizzoli and Isles” is one terrific show.

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Rant: “Law and Order” started going downhill when Angie Harmon and Fred Thompson left the cast.

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Truism: You're never too old to learn something stupid.

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Must See TV: The two-hour finale of “Covert Affairs” was a keeper...must say, I did not see that ending coming.

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Quote: “President obama boldly proclaims, “The buck stops here!” But, whenever his policies are criticized, he acts as if the buck stopped with George W. Bush.”—Thomas Sowell.

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Great comeback for any argument: If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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Didjaknow: Only one Major League Baseball team has had more strikeouts than hits in a season…that would be the 2001 Milwaukee Brewers during their initial season in Miller Park.

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Stats can make you scratch your head: The last-place Orioles boast the AL's best record in one-run games.

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Sound familiar: In 1937, FDR asked in his second inaugural address for “unimagined power” to enforce “proper subordination” of private interests to public authority. The biggest industrial collapse in American history occurred eight years after the stock market crash of 1929, and nearly five years into the New Deal, in…1937.

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Hmmm: Remember when tennis players always wore while?

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Coverage: The New England Patriots’ Tom Brady appeared on his 12th Sports Illustrated cover this week, tying him with Joe Montana for most by an NFL player.

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Didjaknow: The average price of a three-year-old automobile has increased more than 10 percent since last summer. This is largely because of obama’s Car Allowance Rebate System, aka 'Cash for Clunkers,' which ended in August 2009, cut the supply of used cars."

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Truism: You can have health care or you can have obamacare.

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Hmmm: Remember when math was called arithmetic?

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Stats: Ronald Reagan donated a higher percentage of his income to charity than either Ted Kennedy or Franklin Roosevelt.

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Truism: The more game-changing the online technology, the sillier the name.

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Quote: “Pick at random any three letters from the alphabet, put them in any order, and you will have an acronym designating a federal agency we can do without.”—Milton Friedman.

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People who know what you did: God, Santa Claus, the guy at the Genius Bar.

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Hockey Fever: Over 25,000 fans showed up at the Boston Garden to watch the Boston Bruins’ rookies take on the NY Islanders’ rookies.

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Truism: Nobody has ever rolled on the floor laughing before typing “ROTFL.”

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If you’re scoring at home: Derek Jeter is hitting in the .230’s since June.

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Advice: Rarely reply all.

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Truism: You can’t utilize an iPad fully if you’re wearing a Band-Aid on your thumb.

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Murphy’s Law: That serious email you spent all that time composing and proofreading will have one glaring grammatical error that will undercut your point. That error will be your instead of you’re.

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Count on it: everyone is 30% more attractive in their online profile picture than they are in real life.

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Truism: In the history of the Internet, no one has ever clicked “No” when asked if they were eighteen or older.

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Rant: Hasn’t the fifteen minutes of fame expired on the expression, “It is what it is?” Same goes for: “the water cooler,” “the flagpole,” “the wheelhouse.”

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Hmmm: Seems Lindsay Lohan gets more attention for self-destructing than she ever did as an adult actress.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Welcome to Bracketville, Labor Day Edition

Five of Butler’s six NCAA Tournament opponents failed to score 60 points…the only team that did was Duke with 61.

Purdue’s JaJuan Johnson is on a pace to become just the second Big Ten player to score 2,000 points, grab 500 rebounds and record 400 assists during his college career.

Only one Big Ten player was selected in the 2010 NBA draft…national player of the year, Evan Turner. That pretty much makes the Big Ten the most experienced conference in the country.

Virginia Tech not only returns its entire starting five, it returns 99% of its scoring. Tech got to the free throw line more than any other ACC team last season (63 more times than Duke’s second place numbers). However, they were last in assists in the ACC.

Who do you think led the ACC last season in field goal percentage? North Carolina State’s Tracy Smith at 52%. State has just ten scholarshipplayers this season…but are two deep at each position.

Florida State led the ACC in scoring defense and led the nation in field goal percentage defense. They committed turnovers on 24.3% of their possessions…number 329.

We may already have the winner for this season’s best name…Syracuse freshman, Fab Melo.

This year’s early season tournaments seem loaded with top contenders.

Coaches vs. Cancer: Pitt, Texas, Illinois, Maryland.

O’Reilly Auto Parts CBE Classic: Duke, Gonzaga, Kansas State, Marquette.

Puerto Rico Tip-Off: Davidson, West Virginia, Vandy, North Carolina, Wetsern Kentucky and Minnesota.

EA Sports Maui Invitational: UConn, Michigan State, Kentucky, Wichita State.

Old Spice Classic: Wisconsin, Georgia, Notre Dame, Temple.

Hawaiian Airlines Diamond Head Classic: Baylor, Butler, Florida State.


Saturday, September 04, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 485

Saturday, September 04, 2010---599 Words---Average Reading Time: 1 Minute, 47 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Laura Ingraham.

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Reading: “Just Cause” by John Katzenbach (1992). Outstanding book, but the 1995 movie was mediocre, even with Sean Connery in the lead role.

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On the Hi Fi: Bryan Ferry---“As Time Goes By.”

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Under rated: Guinn “Big Boy” Williams.

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I miss: Artie Shaw, Ava Gardner and Leo Durocher.

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Rave: The USA Network just gave the AOK for a second season for the wonderful spy series, “Covert Affairs.”

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Truism: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

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Quote: A trio from world renown economist, Thomas Sowell. “Did you know that the so-called health care reform bill contains a provision creating a tax on people who buy and sell gold coins?” “Pretty words like ‘inclusion’ mean ugly realities like quotas.” “The most dangerous corruption is a corruption of the soul. That is what this administration is doing.”

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Didjaknow: This month of August has 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Tuesdays…all in one month. This happens once in 823 years. Thanks to Chuck Thagard for this tidbit.

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Truism: Every time I look at the cover of People Magazine at the Publix check out counter, I see another celeb or two I’ve never heard of.

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Rave: “Blue-Eyed Devil” is the fourth and final chapter in the late Robert B. Parker’s most enjoyable Virgil Cole/Everett Hitch western series. It’s a pleasant way to spend a couple of reading sessions. Parker’s breezy writing style is always a treat…and Hitch and Cole are much like Spenser and Hawk go west.

Appropriately, nearly all the main characters from the three previous novels make important appearances. A certain symmetry occurs as the setting is back in Appaloosa…where it all started in book one.

I miss Robert B. Parker.

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Didjaknow: Of Stan Musial's 3,630 lifetime major league hits, 1,815 were hit at home and 1,815 were hit on the road.

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Truism: The government goes to those who show up.

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Rave: Toast…especially rye bread toast.

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Hmmm: What does Snooki do for a second act?

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Meaningless statistic: The Indianapolis Colts are 4-22 in pre-season games going back to 2004…and 77-19 in the games that count over the same period of time.

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Meaningful stat: Derek Jeter is hitting about 40 points below his career average in a free-agent season.

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Rave: This linked article speaks to the fact that customer service is an endangered species. As I go to and fro, I see great customer service from Apple, Publix, Duke University Medical System, Panera Bread and the YMCA.

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Truism: A big business is a small business that had great success.

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Rimshot: A backward poet writes inverse.

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Truism: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit salad.

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TV Time Out: It feels like the story line in AMC’s “Rubicon” is beginning to pick up momentum. The show is getting stronger as a result.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.