Saturday, June 25, 2011

Curmudgeon in the Wry 504

Saturday, June 25, 2011---600 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 4 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Hoot Gibson.

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Reading: "A Catskill Eagle" by Robert B. Parker (1985).

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On the Hi Fi: “Sarah Vaughn at Mister Kelly’s.

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Under rated: Guy Madison.

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I miss: Ava Gardner, Benny Goodman, Bob Cousy, Ross Macdonald.

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Rant: Add this to the big lie list---"we have an unusually high volume of calls today, so your hold time will be XX. X hours." Thanks, Bonnie.

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Another big lie: “The Libya intervention will last days, not weeks.” From the whopper-teller-in-chief obama.

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Rave: Wimbledon coverage on ESPN…wonderful announcers and analysts.

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Rant: BYU’s Jimmer Fredette will be playing for Sacramento Kings, meaning he’ll be rumor for those of us on the East Coast.

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Didjaknow: The last time both players used wooden tennis rackets in a Grand Slam event was in the 1984 U.S. Open semi-finals---John McEnroe defeated Pat Cash and went on to best Ivan Lendl in straight sets for his seventh U.S. Open title.

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Home improvement: Don’t forget—righty tighty, lefty loosey.

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Hmmm: How did Heinz get us to believe the tougher it is to get out of the bottle the better the ketchup is.

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Time Capsule: You know life is a fast break when you see “The Fonz” is now a spokesman for retirement plans and reverse mortgages.

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Hmmm: Is it true that when obama’s poll numbers recently hit lows, a great many Kenyans began insisting that he was born in Hawaii?

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Snake eyes plus: We still have 11-1-11 and 11-11-11 to look forward to in 2011.

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Try this at home: Take the last two digits of your birth year and add them to the age you'll be this year. Everyone should arrive at 111.

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Truism: Three’s a crowd. Four’s a dinner party.

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Rant: NATO is an increasingly fictitious military organization.

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Truism: If business were done for the customer rather than the business there wouldn’t be a recession.

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Idle thought: Watching golf on TV gives one plenty of time to contemplate the trivial. For example, those wide, white belts some players wear with their dark slacks. On the pro tour, the 70’s never go out of style.

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Rave: Overachievers---2001 Patriots, 2004 Red Sox and the 2011 Bruins.

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Rave: If you turned Boston Bruin goalie Tim Thomas’s hockey story into a movie, no one would believe it.

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Business 101: Most people know what they are already doing, not what they should be doing.

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Truism: All politics are local? So are sports.

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Insanity: Due to union contracts, seven bus drivers in Wisconsin took home in excess off $100,000.00. Jackie Gleason didn’t make that much playing Ralph Kramden on “The Honeymooners.”

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Quote: “Whether obama is simply incompetent as President or has some hidden agenda to undermine this country, at home and abroad, he has nearly everything he needs to ruin America, including a fool for a vice president.”—Economist Thomas Sowell.

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Stats: Just ten guys have both played for an NBA championship team and coached one.

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Rant: You can start the showing of “Green Lantern” without me.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Curmudgeon in the Wry 503

Sunday, June 12, 2011---687 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 12 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Mallard Fillmore.

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Reading: “The Way Some People Die” by Ross Macdonald. A Lew Archer novel.

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On the Hi Fi: “Listen Up” by Les McCann.

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Under rated: Gloria Grahame.

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I miss: Shorty Rogers, Dave McNally, Lee Marvin.

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Stats: In the first five games of the NBA finals, LeBron James has scored exactly 11 points in the fourth quarter.

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Rant: No one over the age of 9 should ever bring a glove to the ballpark. If you're 40 and bringing your glove, you need to re-examine your life.

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Hmmm: Why is it that you cannot wait to gorge yourself on roast turkey every Thanksgiving, but do not think about having it for the other 364 days of the year?

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Quote: “Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them.”—George Orwell.

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Rant: The importance placed on winning the first two presidential primaries in Iowa and New Hampshire is something I don’t get. For my money, it’s like inflating the importance of winning the coin toss at a football game. In the general election those two states account for all of 11 electoral votes.

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Department of redundancy department: PIN Number, unexpected emergency, foreign imports, close proximity, exact same.

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Econ 101: Austan Goolsbee is the fifth member of the failed obama economic team to quit. He’s going back to academia where he will teach students at the University of Chicago how to inject a trillion dollar stimulus into the economy and increase the unemployment rate from 6% (when he started) to 9.1% (now). This move gives additional credence to the axiom: “Those that can; do. Those that can’t; teach. Those that can’t teach; teach gym. We’d all be better off if Goolsbee taught gym.

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Rant: There is a difference between zero and “o” when giving out a phone number. If you dial “o”---you have actually dialed 6.

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Factoid: Most NFL fans have never been to a game. More than 90% never or rarely go.

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Another big lie: Right up there with, “the check’s in the mail”---let’s add, “your call is very important to us.”

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Hmmm: If socialism is so great, how come the suicide rate is so much higher in countries with socialized medicine, including Sweden, Switzerland, France, and Cuba?

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Just wondering: Do kids today still know who the batting leaders in each league are?

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My take: Why do Republicans want Weiner to resign? Better a disgraced liberal with a loss of credibility losing the bully pulpit, rather than a fresh face.

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Next Up: Weiner makes a guest appearance on “Jersey Shore.”

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Quote: “Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.--Preeminent economist Milton Friedman.

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Quote: “When they eagerly absorb astronomical ticket prices, surrender to parking rip-offs and line up for overpriced merchandise and concessions, fans encourage owners and players to behave as arrogantly as they please.”—Bob Molinaro.

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Hmmm: Ever wonder how college football players, many from poor backgrounds, wind up driving new cars around campus without creating suspicion among the coaching staff?

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Pop Quiz: Name the three shortest books in the world.

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Quiz Answer: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Rahm Emanuel; “Humility and Its Virtues” by obama; “What the Constitution Means to Me” by Nancy Pelosi.

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Factoid: If the NFL schedule goes off as drawn up, Green Bay will be the first team to play games on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day.

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Hmmm: Ever wonder why every four years the world turns its attention to athletic events it will completely ignore for the next four years?

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.