Sunday, July 29, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 529


Sunday, July 29, 2012---878 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 4 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Under rated: Lesley Gore.
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You Know You’re Old: If a teacher ever rapped your knuckles with a ruler.
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Rave: I love the feeling I get when someone cancels plans I did not want in the first place.
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TV Timeout: When it comes to the Olympics, I’ll be watching women’s basketball, men’s and women’s tennis and women’s volleyball.
I would like to see the USA take the gold in men’s basketball so that Coach K can take a bow---but have zero interest in watching a bunch of thugs with jailhouse tattoos. Must say that watching Kevin Durant is a treat.
Now, women’s basketball is another story. Only Seimone Augustus has degraded her body. And, this is one magnificent basketball team; creatively assembled by my second favorite coach, UConn’s Geno Auriemma.
I mean, how good are these girls, when Maya Moore comes off the bench?
Having UConn alumnae compose half the roster is sheer genius. Those six are all worthy Olympians, and will infuse Geno’s attitude and expectations on the other six. To play major minutes for Geno one never takes a play off, regardless of score, opponent or time remaining on the clock. His teams never play “not to lose.”
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TV Timeout II: With just three weeks between their tournament and the first serve of the Olympics, Wimbledon had the courts in remarkably good condition.
The tennis will be high caliber.
The announcing leaves something to be desired. I’d prefer the insights and pithy commentary of the Brothers McEnroe and Chris Evert.
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TV Timeout III: Women’s volleyball---for obvious reason.
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Hmmm: Should the unthinkable happen, and obama gets reelected, it will be interesting to hear him whine about the mess he left himself.
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Rave: “Hell on Wheels” returns to AMC on August 12th.
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Truism: One of the nice things about getting old is that you stop worrying about impressing people. If I think of another thing, I’ll let you know.
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You Know You’re Old: If you think school should be taught in English.
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Hmmm: Have you ever noticed that the news anchors always start the TV news with, “Good Evening,” and then tell you why it isn’t?
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Truism: Catholics will doubt the Pope’s infallibility sooner than liberals will doubt obama’s.
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Hmmm: Is it true that English majors from liberal arts colleges wind up as professors at Midwestern universities teaching the unreadable to the illiterate?
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Pop Quiz: What would you rather be---better looking in snapshots or in real life?
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Didjaknow: The Baltimore Orioles have taken 458 high school pitchers in the June draft (47 years worth). Not one became a 15 game winner for the Os.
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Irony Alert: During his speech at the NAACP, Eric Holder (the one cited for contempt of Congress) railed against photo IDs being necessary to enter the voting booth. By the way, a photo ID was required for admission to the event.
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Another Irony Alert: Penn State and Ohio State, which played one another in 2010, have both had the results of that game vacated.
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Could be: Today in 1837, the electric telegraph was first used commercially. The message was from a Nigerian prince who desperately needed your help.
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Didjaknow: Mitt Romney graduated cum laude from both Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School...and by the way, his academic records are NOT sealed.
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Rave: The U.S.A. has won every Under-19 Lacrosse World Title since the tournament began in 1988 and has only lost two games in international competition.
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Olympics: This is the first Summer Olympics where everyone will be tweeting. No good can come of it.
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Econ 101: Income is not wealth. Wealth is what one has accumulated for all you obama devotees scoring at home.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when Apple was a small, struggling company.
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Truism: It never really matters whom you know---it is just who knows you that counts.
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Don’t I wish: That there were an after-shave that smelled like chocolate chip cookies.
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iCal Update: ABC’s “Revenge” moves to Sundays and will premiere on September 30 at 9 PM.
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Didjaknow: With 23 members, the NY/San Francisco Giants have the most players in the baseball Hall of Fame.
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Just asking: Ever notice how swiftly gas prices rise compared to how slowly the price drops?
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You Know You’re Old: If you don’t pollute because you give a hoot.
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One Final Thought: Does your refrigerator door look like the analog version of Facebook?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 528


Saturday, July 21, 2012---620 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. Offend
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Rave: Jo Stafford.
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On the Hi Fi: “Sunset Strip to Haight Ashbury,” a Starbucks compilation.






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Under rated: The Bobbettes.
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You Know You’re Old: If you admire successful people.
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Quote: “How can government do the right thing to help productivity and the employment it fosters? Get out of the way. Every government-mandated low-flow toilet, phosphorous-free dishwasher detergent, CFL light bulb, and carbon-emission regulation is another obstacle on the way to a productive, job-creating economy that produces things consumers really want.”—Andy Kessler, Wall Street Journal.
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Didjaknow: Although the National Football League is more popular than ever, the actual live attendance for NFL games has declined every year since 2007.
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Another Quote: “Exercise is meditation in motion.”—Susan S. Paul, MS.
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Department of Redundancy Department: VAT Tax, exact same, frozen solid, unpaid debt, plan ahead, young adolescent, advance warning, interim time period, same exact.
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You Know You’re Old: If you hold the door open for women.
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Truism: Flattery is telling other people what they think of themselves.
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Stat Nation: According to Bureau of Labor Statistics, there is one unemployed government worker for every 11 unemployed in the private sector. The world is upside down.
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Rim Shot: Old grammarians never die; they just parse away.
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Hmmm: Why do they report power outages on TV?
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Truism: A good friend is a person who dislikes the same people you do.
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Rave: ‘50s on 5.
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Rant: During his quest for another Grand Slam, Tiger Woods hasn't exactly been losing out to great champions. He's going up against a generation of forgettable players and one-hit wonders. Take this into account when gauging how far Woods has come back.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when every quarter had an eagle on the back.
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Hmmm: A question about those ubiquitous "watch" lists for college football awards - analog or digital?
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Studies show: Americans are getting more and more cynical…if you can believe that.
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Just wondering: Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers are not afraid to include a Chapter 11?
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Hmmm: Life is what you make it…until someone makes it worse.
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Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot: Only the Teflon League - the NFL - can suffer the arrests of nine players this month alone - and 24 this offseason - without taking a big hit to its image
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Truism: Good fishing is a matter of timing…you have to get there yesterday.
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More stats: During Ronald Reagan’s eight years at the helm, just 12,000 federal workers were added to the payroll. In four years Carter added 100,000. In five fewer years than Reagan, obama has added 130,000. For those of you scoring at home, that is ten times as many in 38.5% of the time.
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You Know You’re Old: If you ever used the word gay to mean carefree or joyous.
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One Final Thought: If life was fair…Elvis would be alive and his impersonators would be dead.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Welcome to Bracketville--Midsummer's Night Dream Edition


With Cody Zeller and Christian Watford back, all five starters from last season will return to Indiana.
Mason Plumlee’s returning to Duke is a big deal. He’ll be a great senior leader. I would rather have one Mason Plumlee than a dozen Austin Rivers.
Nearly 400 players, including Duke’s Michael Gbinije, are transferring this year.
UConn is down to seven returning players.
Memphis returns four of their top five scorers, including projected lottery choice, Adonis Thomas.
New Virginia Tech Coach, James Johnson has just eight scholarship players for this coming season.
The Miami Hurricanes return eleven players, including six of the top seven scorers from last season. Playmaker Durand Scott will be back…Senior big men Reggie Johnson and Julian Gamble return healthy.
Missouri is expected to start or play four transfers. Alex Oriakhi started for the 2011 National Champs, UConn. The other three were the best players on their respective rosters.
Last season Duke accumulated merely eight more assists than turnovers. Thank the ball-hogging Austin Rivers for that gruesome stat.
In fact Duke recorded assists on just 48.4% of their field goal…their lowest since 1998.
Clemson is the only original member of the ACC that has never won the ACC Tournament.
While I cannot cheer for North Carolina, I think they made a smart move in hiring Hubert Davis as an assistant coach. I’ll miss him on ESPN…he was an astute analyst with a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor. I wish him well.
Not so fast: Florida State (ACC Champions last season) lost six seniors to graduation.
One more thing: Do not overlook Butler’s transfer, Rotnei Clarke. 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 527


Tuesday, July 17, 2012---695 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 38 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Rave: High School Reunions.
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Under rated: Dabney Coleman.
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You Know You’re Old: If you can remember when getting a tattoo was a sign of rebellion, not a sign of conformity. Either way, they are hideous.
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Didjaknow: In their 13 years in Kansas City, the Athletics (Philadelphia - Oakland) never had a winning season.
In their 13 years in Milwaukee, the Braves (Boston - Atlanta) never had a losing season.
Thanks Carl.
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Truism: Cream always rises to the top…so does hot air.
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Rant: Whatever happened to just walking to the net and shaking hands after winning a tennis tournament? I could even live with them racing to the net and jumping over it to greet the loser. But from Andre Agassi to Rafael Nadal, these modern "champions" now collapse to their knees, stomachs or backsides like they've been shot by a sniper.
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I’ll Miss: Celeste Holm. Most likely her roles in “Gentleman’s Agreement” and “All About Eve” are judged her finest. For me, “High Society” was her finest moment. She held her own with Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly and Frank Sinatra…not an easy gig. Via con dios.
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You Know You’re Old: If you still consider “Occupy” to be a verb, not a noun.






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Didjaknow: Walter Johnson of the original Washington Senators is the only MLB pitcher to obtain more than one hundred shutouts in his career (110). In fact, the shutouts comprised more than a quarter of his 416 total wins.
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Didjaknow: A period is a stop sign. A semicolon is a rolling stop. A comma is an amber light.
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Rant: Interviewing coaches on their way to the locker room at half time. It is a painful exercise for reporter, coach and viewers. Even worse are the interviews in MLB dugouts during a game.
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Hmmm: Ever notice that when people say, “that’s a good question,” they never have a good answer.
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You Know You’re Old: If the phrase “turn of the century” makes you think of the year 1900.
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Rave: After the latest NBA draft, Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski now has produced more first round draft picks than any other coach in ACC history.
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Truism: Luck never gives; it only lends.
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Just asking: Does anyone still own an electric knife?
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Hmmm: Only in obama’s America could the people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their fair share by people who do not pay anything at all.
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Just wondering: Why do relief pitchers warm up when they come into a baseball game? What the heck have they been doing in the bullpen for the past 10 minutes?
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You Know You’re Old: If you can remember when a sex scandal would ruin a starlet’s career.
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Think about it: Major League Baseball teams paying millionaire players meal money.
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Rant: It's ludicrous that, in MLB, the league that wins the All-Star Game - an exhibition - gets home-field advantage in the World Series.
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Hmmm: If MLB's All-Star Game had ended in a tie, would the seventh game of the World Series been played at a neutral site?
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Truism: The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when a browser was a casual shopper.
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One Final Thought: In tennis, scoring goes 15, 30 . . . 40? Why is the third point less valuable than the first two?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 526


Sunday, July 08, 2012---594 Words---Average Reading Time: 1 Minutes, 58 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Rave: Jamie Dupree
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Reading: “Vigilante,” a Shane Scully novel from Stephen J. Cannell.
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On the Hi Fi: “Double Exposure” by John Pizzarelli.
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Under rated: Cameron Mitchell.
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You Know You’re Old: If you still have an AOL email address.
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Truism: There are no rewards or punishment for your behavior only consequences!
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Hmmm: What is more rare today, an NBA draft pick with a diploma or one without multiple tattoos?
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Rant: With interleague play complete, aren’t you glad to return to your regularly scheduled season?
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Quote: “If there were only one right woman for every right man on earth, they would never find each other.”—Renowned economist, Milton Freidman.
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Stats: Just the facts---Fox News Channel had the top 13 cable news programs in total viewers, and the top eight in the demo for Q2, 2012.
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You Know You’re Old: If you still tuck your shirt in…except when carrying a concealed weapon.
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Rave: I just love Wimbledon…the civility of players wearing tennis whites, the dress of the ball boys and line judges and the great towels.
Having John McEnroe and Chris Evert as commentators is a huge plus.
Roger that.
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Rave: Great tag line for the upcoming US Open tennis tournament---“It must be love.”
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Irony alert: Voting is arguably the most sacred privilege we Americans enjoy, and the obama regime says voter ID is all wrong and unfair. Now, when obama’s wife made a D.C. book-signing appearance, two IDs (driver’s license and Social Security card) were required to enter the store. One would have thought such a policy would be unfair to young people and members of minority groups, but that only applies when it comes to voting. The world is upside down.
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Didjaknow: We are enduring the longest string of consecutive quarters of economic growth below 4% since WWII, an average of 1.4% in the obama years.
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You Know You’re Old: When you’re the only one in the gym with a headband.
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Truism: The USA has the richest poor people in the world.
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Quote: “ Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”
   -- Robert Collier
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Rave: Good news---A&E has renewed “Longmire” for a second season.
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Rave: It’s the 50th Anniversary of James Bond on the big screen. 
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Hmmm: Did Cheech and Chong write the various state “medical marijuana” laws?
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Rant: Moths cannot find their way to those awful curlicue light bulbs being foisted upon us.
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You Know You’re Old: If you ever waited to hear your favorite song on the radio.
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Rant: America’s storyteller = obama, the 21st century’s Aesop. He’s still attempting to sell the American public black and white photos of rainbows.
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One Final Thought: When you compare apples to apples, the Ambrosia is the crème de la crème of the apple family.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.