Sunday, June 30, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 545


Sunday, June 30, 2013---925 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 56 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Chock full of extraneous intensifiers.
If you don’t have more questions than answers, you are not really living.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Providing snap judgments and overreactions.
Filled with random nonsense.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
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Rave: Jo Stafford.
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Reading: “Death Without Company” by Craig Johnson---a Longmire novel.
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On the Hi Fi: “Polka Dots and Moonbeams” by Paul Desmond.
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Under rated: Dennis Morgan.
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You Know You're From Florida: If you have named the lizards the live in your garage and under your house, and appreciate their ability to keep the cockroach/palmetto bug population somewhat in check.
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Rave: Wimbledon…simply the best…the players wear white, the crowd is respectful and tradition rules the day. 
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Net Results: For the first time at Wimbledon in more than 100 years, no U.S. man reached the third round in singles competition.
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Hmmm: The College World Series ended about a month and a half after universities let out for the summer.
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Quote: "I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives."-- R.J. Palacio.
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You Know You’re Old: If you participated in finger painting. Extra credit if you were good at it…I was well below average.
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Didjaknow: These three authors never wrote a second novel---Margaret Mitchell (“Gone With the Wind”), Harper Lee (“To Kill a Mockingbird”) and J. D. Salinger (“Catcher in the Rye”). Salinger did write one novella and a collection of short stories.
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Quote: "I kept the same suit for six years—and the same dialogue. We just changed the title of the picture and the leading lady."—Robert Mitchum.
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Hmmm: Why do TV announcers always say the postgame show will “immediately follow the game?”
When else would we expect it to be on?
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Rave: Even though the media and golf pundits are in lockstep agreement in predicting that tiger woods will win every major he enters, I am happy to report that he has not won a Grand Slam event in five years.
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You Know You're From Florida: When your cats don’t even blink for the lizards that have gotten inside anymore.
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Rave: Enjoyed the newest from TNT, “King & Maxwell.” I would have started with a different Baldacci book…and expanded the book into multiple episodes…but liked what I saw.
Episode one (from “The Sixth Man”) followed an intriguing course that might have seemed far-fetched a week before the regime’s NSA scandal came to light…when we learned that the truth might just be stranger than “Person of Interest.”
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Just asking: Why is it that Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood get free F-16s, but law abiding Americans can’t be trusted with hunting rifles?
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TV Timeout: On A&E’s “The Glades,” I enjoy Jim Longworth’s quirky sense of humor much more when it is the only thing trying to be funny during an episode.
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Truism: A good-looking woman can lower a man’s IQ by at least 20 points.
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Didjaknow: Before he wrote “Double Indemnity,” “The Postman Always Rings Twice” and “Mildred Pierce,” James M. Cain was the managing editor of the New Yorker.
“Postman” received seven Academy Award nominations.
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Truism: With the state of the newspaper industry, not even Superman/Clark Kent could land a job at the Daily Planet today.
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Worthy Book Quote: “Two rules: You enter without breaking. And you remember that nobody misses what you don’t take.”—Aftershock, by Andrew Vachss.
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You Know You're From Florida: You consider the strawberry as a seasonal winter fruit.
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Rave: For season two, TNT ordered 19 episodes of “Major Crimes.” Great show with a terrific cast. Big fun to watch.
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Quote: “Speaking of obama, there’s a delicious irony in the fact that the industries that he has championed in word and with our tax dollars –namely electric cars and solar panels—have failed miserably. However, the one he has waged a campaign against—has flourished to such an extent that in 2011, alone the sales of guns and ammo resulted in federal excise taxes of $4.59 billion!”—Burt Prelutsky.
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You Know You’re Old and From Florida: If you remember when the first number(s) on the Florida license tag was the county designation. Extra credit if you can name counties 1-10.
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Rave: While Roger Federer has had a disappointing first half this year, there is still nobody playing today that I would rather watch. 
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Words to live by: There are two rules for success. #1-Never reveal everything you know.
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Quote: “The government monitors you because you don't monitor them.”—David Burge.
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You Know You’re Old: If you awaken looking like the picture on your driver’s license.
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Final Thought: Measurement is fabulous. Unless you’re busy measuring what’s easy to measure as opposed to what is important.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.