Thursday, September 26, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 550


Thursday, September 26, 2013---759 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Chock full of extraneous intensifiers.
If you don’t have more questions than answers, you are not really living.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Providing snap judgments and overreactions.
Filled with random nonsense.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
+++++++
Rave: Mile Davis. “So What” remains my favorite Miles track…what’s yours?
+++++++
Reading: “The Quest” by Nelson DeMille.
+++++++
On the Hi Fi: “Frank Sinatra, The Capitol Years.”
+++++++
Under rated: Louis Litt.
+++++++
Listen Up: Don’t forget to get your flu shot. Publix bills it directly to Medicare. No muss, no fuss, no pain, no waiting…what’s not to like.
+++++++
Truism: Word of mouth remains stronger than social media.
+++++++
TV Time Out: The setup on “Low Winter Sun” has been unbelievably tedious. Now, with just three episodes to go, the threads are starting to come together…slowly, slowly, slowly.
+++++++
Rave: If James Garner is in it…I’m watching it.
+++++++
Hmmm: If guns kill people…do pencils misspell words?
+++++++
Truism: A manager can be appointed, a leader cannot. Leadership is earned over time.
+++++++
Ever notice: You tend to like people who like you…and vice-versa.
+++++++
TV Time Out II: It’s going to be an unbearably long hiatus before the final six episodes of season three of “Suits” appear in January. At least everyone is happy both personally and professionally as the Hessington Oil case is finally put the rest.
“Suits” is the coolest show on TV…the original “Ocean’s Eleven” type of cool. It’s the Cary Grant of cable TV dramas.
+++++++
Rant: With the MLB post season about to start, we will be subjected to mediocre national voices that have barely a passing acquaintance with the intricacies of the participating teams.
Plus, most are deadly boring and phony as a three-dollar bill.
I subscribe to the Dwight Jaynes theory. Have the regular team broadcasters do the games.
They will execute the play-by-play and color with passion, insight and knowledge.
It makes zero sense to have MLB’s showcase productions manned by a bunch of cracker-jacks.
+++++++
Hmmm: How come you never see a drive through Chinese restaurant?
+++++++
Rave: There is no such thing as a bad Joel McCrea western.
+++++++
Truism: You are who you act like during your worst moment.
+++++++
Didjaknow: Little Richard and Jack Nicholson retired on the same day---two of the greats.
+++++++
Hmmm: Wi-Fi free only at the less expensive hotels.
+++++++
TV Time Out III: It’s just a four-week wait between halves of season four of “Covert Affairs.” Big changes ahead for Annie Walker.
Loved the line Joan delivered to Auggie after they were both let go from the CIA, “Auggie, report in. We might both be fired, but you still work for me.”
+++++++
Rave: As a rule, I find that my favorite Elvis song is whatever one I am listening to at the moment.
+++++++
Truism: An insane person never wonders if they are.
+++++++
Hmmm: Hockey has always struck me as soccer on skates.
+++++++
TV Time Out IV: “Person of Interest” is back and has made Sarah Shahi’s Shaw a regular member of the team. 
I loved her as Kate Reed in “Necessary Roughness”---a show cancelled far too soon.
Amy Acker’s Root is the most menacing and psychotic-scary TV villain since Mr. Jones as a Milwaukee mob hit man knocking people off in “Vegas.”
With Carter now a beat cop, she’ll have more opportunity to interact with Reese and Finch…and Fusco will continue to steal every scene he’s in.
It’s appointment TV.
+++++++
Truism: You cannot
recover lost time…it is forever gone.
+++++++
Final TV Time Out: “The Blacklist” passed muster for me. Of course, with James Spader in the lead role, that wasn’t difficult to see happening.
The season premier was mesmerizing---compelling characters, performances and twists.
Spader’s oddball charisma keeps things lively.
The abandoned post office as a black site is awesome…hope they use it lots.
Suspend your disbelief and enjoy the ride…you’ll get sucked in.
+++++++
Final Thought: At the beginning, a true leader defines the goal. At the end, he thanks the troops.
+++++++
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.


Shot on Location by Laurence Shames



“Shot on Location” is wonderfulworth the 13-year wait. Hope I don’t have to wait another 13 years for the next one.

It did not take long before I had multiple grins, any number of chuckles and a couple of laughter outbursts.

It was so good to be on the way to Key West, that after the first chapter, I had to put the book down and just savor what I had read.

SOL is another magnificent Key West caper from Laurence Shamespopulated by vivid, colorful and often cynical characters.

Multiple agendas are in playrunning parallel until converging at the end.

While not the main character, one of fiction’s great characters, Bert the Shirt, is back. Well into his eighth decade, retired Mafioso Mensch Bert is mentoring, nudging, cajoling, advising, counseling and guiding some of the good guys. Bert’s enjoying being back in actionhe’s still got game.

Red herrings, false leads and misdirections aboundkeeping you guessing until resolution. There is never a dull moment.

Simply put”Shot on Location” is big fun.

There are books you take time forbooks you make time forbooks you steal time for. SOL is the latter.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Hewlett Packard Tech Support Is Worst Ever


The envelope please.

The award for the absolute worst tech support/customer service ever goes to...Hewlett Packard.

The bar for this award is pretty high as I was an AOL subscriber for a dozen years and had to deal Gateway and Dell before I saw the light and joined the church of Apple.

I wish Apple made printers.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 549


Saturday, September 14, 2013---641 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Chock full of extraneous intensifiers.
If you don’t have more questions than answers, you are not really living.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Providing snap judgments and overreactions.
Filled with random nonsense.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
+++++++
Rave: Angie Harmon.
+++++++
Reading: “Never Go Back” by Lee Child.
+++++++
On the Hi Fi: Jefferson Airplane—“After Bathing At Baxter’s.”
+++++++
Under rated: Dale Robertson.
+++++++
Truism: Common sense is genius in work clothes.
+++++++
TV Time Out: I can live with the dénouement of “Burn Notice”…however; I will have a more difficult time living without “Burn Notice.”
It was a great ride over 111 episodes…and it will go into syndication.
The ending sets up a possible Sam and Jesse spinoff…nothing wrong with that. See you at Carlito’s.
+++++++
You Know You’re Old: If you paid for a COD.
+++++++
Quote: “The definition of creativity is to do something brand new or do something old in a brand new way.”—Walt Disney.
+++++++
Truism: Nothing is habit forming unless you do it every day.
+++++++
Hmmm: How come all the things that are supposed to be faster and easier are neither?
+++++++
TV Time Out II: Growing up my favorite TV westerns were: Maverick, Rawhide, Trackdown, Wanted: Dead or Alive, The Lawman, The Dakotas and Restless Gun. What were yours?
+++++++
You Know You’re Old: If you remember when the TV stations would sign off by playing the National Anthem.
+++++++
Truism: Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
+++++++
Hmmm: If the end doesn’t justify the means, what can?
+++++++
Rave: An original writer is not one who imitates no one, rather one whom no one can imitate.
+++++++
TV Timeout III: My favorite comedies growing up: Leave It to Beaver, Bachelor Father, Ozzie and Harriet, Our Miss Brooks, Sgt. Bilko, Love That Bob, My Little Margie and Topper. And yours?
+++++++
Hmmm: Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
+++++++
Didjaknow: An actuary is someone who is too boring to be an accountant.
+++++++
Question: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
+++++++
Answer: Only one, but he gets three credits for doing it.
+++++++
Truism: Russian roulette excepted, it’s not whether you win or lose but how you play the game.
+++++++
Quote: From Ben Stein---“obama was a pitiful rube, playing against world class card sharks named Assad and Putin. Now he has lost his stash, and he has laid America low. From an inheritance of the USA as the only superpower, he has led us to be spat upon by Putin and Assad.”
+++++++
TV Timeout IV: Among my favorite detective shows in my misspent youth: M Squad, Peter Gunn, 77 Sunset Strip, Surfside 6, Hawaiian Eye, Richard Diamond, Untouchables, The Fugitive, Rockford Files, The Saint, Naked City and I Spy. Yours?
+++++++
Truism: Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it is always farther away.
+++++++
Didjaknow: In 2001 there were 70,000 porn sites in America…now there are 4.2 million.
+++++++
Hmmm: Anything simple to do is never easy to accomplish.
+++++++
Truism: Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to write a third that nobody will read.
+++++++
Final Thought: Unless you know someone, avoid places with velvet ropes and lines.
+++++++
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 548



Saturday, September 07, 2013---1037 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 39 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Chock full of extraneous intensifiers.
If you don’t have more questions than answers, you are not really living.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Providing snap judgments and overreactions.
Filled with random nonsense.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
+++++++
Rave: Diana Nyad.
+++++++
Reading: “Glitz” by Elmore Leonard.
+++++++
On the Hi Fi: “Settin’ the Standards”~~~A Chuck Thagard compilation.
+++++++
Under rated: Billie Burke.
+++++++
Truism: When someone says, "It is what it is," they're telling you it sucks.
+++++++
Quote: “When you reread a novel you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than was there before.” ~ Clifton Fadiman.
+++++++
TV Time Out: “Major Crimes” returns with eight new episodes on November 25th. Can’t wait…and it was renewed for a third season.
I hope that we lose DDA Rios ASAP…she is truly annoying on so many levels…a most grating personality.
+++++++
Game, Set, Match: When Serena Williams defeated Carla Suárez Navarro in Wednesday’s US Open quarters, she became just the second person since 1968 to win an Open quarterfinal match 6-0, 6-0 {or as John McEnroe says, double bagels}. It’s a weird stat, but one Williams shares only with Martina Navratilova.
+++++++
Rant: The next time a liberal finds herself threatened by some thug; let’s see if she calls a cop or a Crip for help.
+++++++
Quote: “Life is one long process of getting tired.”~~~Samuel Butler.
+++++++
Anyone for tennis: The last time both players used wooden rackets in a major tennis tournament was the 1984 US Open Semis---John McEnroe and Pat Cash.
+++++++
Hmmm: Who are They? And, why are they so all knowing?
+++++++
Full disclosure: I’m much smarter on an email than I am on the phone.
+++++++
TV Time Out II: “The Glades” was not renewed. I can understand why. The episodes this season were pure cookie-cutter---meet suspect one, arrest suspect one, learn about suspect two, arrest same and release suspect one, release suspect two after arresting suspect three, etc.
The first couple of seasons were big fun…it had a huge decline this season.
+++++++
Quote: “Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.”—David T. Wolf.
+++++++
Truism: In retirement, life is a never-ending cycle of three-day weekends.
+++++++
Checking in with Burt Prelutsky: On the Detroit situation, “If you keep eating Twinkies, you’ll get fat. If you keep electing left-wingers, you’ll go bust.”
+++++++
Rave: The greatest motivational technique---inspiration.
+++++++
TV Time Out III: A&E picked up “Longmire” for a third season---smooth move. “Longmire” is one of those rare show where the filmed version is more entertaining than the book.
It scores off the chart with the upper demo…you know, that demo nobody wants, but has the disposable income companies should covet.
+++++++
Rave: John McEnroe and Chris Evert are just as spectacular calling a tennis match as they were playing one. If you don’t learn something new in each match they call…you’re not paying attention.
+++++++
Truism: The only way to get the credit is to take the blame as well.
+++++++
Rant: There is no surer sign that national sports coverage is 80% hype than when media try to make judgments and draw conclusions from NFL exhibition games.
+++++++
Truism: Just because you cannot prove it, doesn’t mean it’s not true.
+++++++
Quote: “Respect your audience.”~~John Huston.
+++++++
Thomas Sowell thought for the day: “Like other truly talented phonies, obama concentrates his skills on the effect of his words on other people — most of whom do not have the time to become knowledgeable about the things he is talking about. Whether what he says bears any relationship to the facts is politically irrelevant.
A talented con man, or a slick politician, does not waste his time trying to convince knowledgeable skeptics. His job is to keep the true believers believing. He is not going to convince the others anyway.”
+++++++
Truism: It’s a helluva lot easier to piss people off than to please them.
+++++++
Rave: The 14 game lead the Atlanta Braves enjoy is all the more amazing when you consider that they have lost six players to season-ending injuries.
+++++++
Didjaknow: Cinerama was created as an anagram for American.
+++++++
Quote: “A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.”~~~Edgar A. Shoaff.
+++++++
TV Time Out IV: I’m conflicted about AMC’s “Low Winter Sun.” The primary story line has me hooked. The secondary plot about the small-time crook Damon is an intrusion. And, Frank’s obsession to locate his hooker girl friend is both too dark and pathetic.
+++++++
Quote: “It's unfathomable at a time when interleague play goes on all summer that none of Justin Morneau's statistics for the Twins carried over to the National League when he joined the Pirates the other day. His stat line that appears in the paper returned to zeroes. And why? Probably because that's the way it was done in 1901. It's baseball, after all.”—Bob Molinaro, Virginian Pilot.
+++++++
Final TV Time Out: The 111th and final episode of “Burn Notice” airs on Thursday. I am fairly certain that I have not missed a single episode.
I was lucky enough to be tipped off by the Sun Sentinel’s ace mystery reviewer Oline Cogdill for the June 28, 2007 debut.
There are lots of loose ends to tie up in one show…so the VCR will be recording.
Consistently good writing, a genial cast of protagonists, well-known guest stars and nasty villains led to solid ratings…averaging between four and five million viewers.
It will be a bittersweet good by…but the show is going out on top.
It’s been a great ride---and Miami never looked better.
+++++++
Final Thought: Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
+++++++
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.


Tuesday, September 03, 2013