Friday, August 29, 2014

Curmudgeon in the Wry 566

Friday, August 29, 2014---1077 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 38 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrongnever in doubt.
If you want this in a different languagemove to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Dont forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Glenn Ford.
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Reading: Cast in Stonea Leo Waterman novel by G.M. Ford. 
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Under rated: Jerome Cowen.
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Truism: The plays work greatwhen you have great players.
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Watch closely: Every Hitchcock cameo in one clippretty nifty: 
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Hmmm: Wheres Jay Gatsby when you really need him?
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TV Timeout: Manhattan has gotten me on Sunday nights. Good characters in unique situationsespecially Frank Winters.
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Quote: To me old age is always ten years older than I am. Bernard Baruch, American financier (1870-1965).
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Didjaknow: The Orioles payroll is around $100 million less than the Yankees.
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Rave: Lauren Bacall defined cool for women the way Steve McQueen later did for men.
She was refined, playful, sultry, sexy, a Renaissance womantruly a celebrity in every sense of the word.
If she didnt invent sultry, she certainly perfected it.
She was Hollywood royalty in the 1940 and 1950s.
As soon as she walked into Bogies room in To Have and Have Not and asked, Anyone got a match?---leaning against that doorframe---she was an immediate star.
She did more with innuendo than most actresses did with a page of dialog.
She would look up through her eyelids, and compel the audience to look back. It was impossible not to.
There was no one quite like her. She taught us all how to whistle.
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Speaking of Steve McQueen: I always thought Tom Horn was his most under-rated movie and one I thoroughly enjoyed.
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TV Timeout II: The Suits summer finale packed a punch. After finally becoming a sympathetic character, Louis Litt reincarnated himself as a dick in the last scene. The episode was packed with victories and losses coming back-to-back for all the characters. The firm is never more than ten seconds of ill-timed decision-making away from total destruction.
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Bravo: AMC has renewed Halt and Catch Fire for a second season. USA renewed Suits for season five.
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Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot: A&E cancelled Longmire.
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Anyone for tennis: The last time wooden rackets were used by both players in a major tournament was in the 1984 US Open semi-finals between Pat Cash and John McEnroe.
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Random Thought: Escalators make people happy. They're ready when you are, there is almost never a line, and you can see progress happening the entire time.
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Hmmm: Why do the bartenders in a cowboy movie never give change?
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Didjaknow: Jayne Mansfield had a 160 IQ and played the violin.
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Quote: An alcoholic is someone who drinks as we do, and we dont like him.---Lawrence Block.
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TV Timeout III: Covert Affairs put the hammer down for the summer finale. Allegiances were constantly being questioned, while the truth was gradually revealed. You were never quite certain who the bad guy wasuntil Georgian diplomat Belenko showed up.
Will Joans Balkan incident return to haunt her and Arthur?
The final few minutes were truly intenseand Annies got her mission when Covert Affairs returns in the fall.
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Rant: Is there any televised sporting event that enjoys more hype and is more tedious than an NFL exhibition?
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My word: Finding a grocery store clerk who knows how to pack a paper bag correctly is a real challenge these daysit is another dying art.
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Drivers Ed 101: It is infinitely easier to back into a parking space that it is to back out of one.
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TV Timeout IV: Whoa!!! Unarmed Bohannon disarms and pistol-whips the first carpetbagger with his own weapon and draws down on the second carpetbagger---now that was one badass scene.
Hell on Wheels continues to move at a deliberate pacebut some bursts of excitement grab you between the character developments.
The horse chase using real horses and wide shots provided a real sense of danger and movementthe wide-open frontier.
Will Bohannon, Durant, Eva and Mickey team up against the carpetbaggers? The enemy of my enemy theme?
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Quote: Never force yourself to read a book that you do not enjoy. There are so many good books in the world that it is foolish to waste time on one that does not give you pleasure.---Atwood H. Townsend.
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Full Disclosure: I tested positive for sarcasm.
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Anyone know: What is the difference between scattered showers and isolated showers?
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Guilty pleasure: I confess---I continue to enjoy the Andy Hardy movies to this day.
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Shoot first: Antoine Walker, former Miami Heat player was once asked why he shot so many 3-pointers. Because, he said, there are no fours.
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More Blather: ESPNs decision to cover the Sox/Yankees game at Fenway from the Monster seats was a gimmick that ought to have been limited to one inning tops.
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Stop the Presses: Amazon has given the green light for ten episodes of Michael Connellys Bosch to be streamed in 2015. The stories will be culled from three Bosch novels and some new material. I cant wait. The pilot was an immense treat.
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Truism: Only drug dealers and high school teachers understand the metric system.
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Fascinating: The Kansas City Royals have the fewest home runs of any MLB team38 below the AL averageyet are battling the Tigers for first place in the Central Division.
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Rant: Nobody ever got his money's worth out of a tube of Super Glue.
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One more quote: We have gone from the Monroe Doctrine to what can only be called the Morons Doctrine.”—Burt Prelutsky.
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Ready or not: Yaz just turned 75.
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Didjaknow: Yogi Berra was among those who stormed ashore on D-Day at Normandy.
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Final Thought: Why are atheists offended by something they don't believe exists at all?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you cant, thank the teachers union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Curmudgeon in the Wry 565

Sunday, August 10, 2014---856 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 49 Seconds. (A pointless waste of
time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Mary Astor.
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Reading: “Blood Hollow” by William Kent Krueger.
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On the Hi Fi: “More Than You Know” by Lena Horne.
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Under rated: Louis Stone.
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Rave: Levenger continues to publish the finest catalogs.
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This and That: If you have not received more than enough 2015 calendars then you aren’t trying. Same goes for return address labels.
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Oh so true: The photos in recruiting brochures never reflect real life on the job.
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No excuses: Never leave misspellings in any document that leaves your office…including e-mail. With spell-check there is no justification for any word to be misspelled.
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Quote: "Good people are not hard to find; they are hard to keep." ---George Perkins.
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TV Time Out: “Halt and Catch Fire’s” finale was uneven…Joe’s ritualistic burning of the initial shipment of Giants was pointless in every way. The car-jacking came out of nowhere. On the plus side---Donna and Cameron accelerating with Mutiny. Gordon in charge of Cardiff a highlight as well.
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Factoid: From USA Today---Movie ticket sales are down 20% this summer, as much of the youth-oriented fare has failed to get people through the turnstiles.
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Bad Medicine: Looking through my history books, I simply do not find instances where nations planned the aftermath prior to engaging in war.
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Numbers game: Mercifully, there are just nine weeks remaining in the Derek Jeter countdown…if you’re scoring at home.
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Random thought: You know that the times, they are a changin’, with the news that four casinos in Atlantic City are closing.
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TV Timeout II: One word that encapsulates the first two episodes of “Hell on Wheels” is desperation. There were a couple of high spots, especially when Maggie Palmer had Durant’s bags packed and taken to her hotel’s lobby. Until Bohannon straps on his .45, the pace will continue to be depressingly slow. I hope we don’t have go through the full 13 episodes before Bohannon and the Swede’s story of confrontation concludes.
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Rant: I thought we watched TV shows to escape reality, not see it.
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Rave: Right on red.
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Future watch: I’m betting that Johnny Football crash lands.
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Much ado: Too many people worry about Jay-Z and Beyonce’s marriage than they do their own.
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Rave: Sports Illustrated celebrates its 60th anniversary this month. Wish I still had my copy of the first issue. I spent hours reading and rereading it…it fascinated me.
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TV Timeout III: Lots of loose ends wrapped up in this season’s “Longmire” finale. It was as tense and suspenseful as possible. Robert Taylor and Lou Diamond Phillips are terrific. Who was shot…Branch or his father? Wow…what a season!!!
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Truism: Social media is nobody’s friend…something too many kids find out too late.
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Stat Stuff: Nobody in the Yankee’s starting line up is hitting .300.
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Quote: "In an age when scientists are creating artificial intelligence, too many of our educational institutions seem to be creating artificial stupidity."—Thomas Sowell, Preeminent Economist.
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Hmmm: The impossible often isn’t.
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Rant: I am really worn out by people answering a question with, "That is good question."
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TV Timeout IV: When are the writers of “Covert Affairs” going to end the Calder/hooker storyline…very boring. Was Nathan Mueller killed in the drone attack?
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More Blather: The words, “as we all know” are often followed by something you didn’t know; just as the words that precede the word “but” don’t mean much.
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Guesswork: Honestly, what percentage of Americans do you suppose give a damn about the well being of muslims?
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Just wondering: How can you tell if a cartoon family’s picture is a photo or a portrait?
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TV Timeout V: You just know that Forstman is going to want more from Louis…will he eventually be “Litt up?” Only two more episodes of “Suits” for it to happen.
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Factoid: The Boston Red Sox have the highest ticket prices in baseball.
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Quote: “In every country where muslims are in the minority, they’re obsessed with minority rights; whereas in every country with a muslim majority, there are no minority rights.”—Burt Prelutsky.
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Rant: Why does a ringing telephone always take precedence over a customer paying cash?
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Quote: ""The guy waving with the cell phone [at the ballpark] has become this year's John 3:16 guy with the rainbow hair," Bill Stetka, Orioles media relations.
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Final Thought: These hucksters on late-late night TV are people that were once at fairs in booths your parents told you to stay away from.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.

As you were