Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Curmudgeon in the Wry 571

Tuesday, January 06, 2015---936 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 59 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Kevin Vickers.
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Reading: “No Place to Die” by James l. Thane.
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On the Hi Fi: “Chuck Thompson, Voice of the Orioles.”
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Under rated: Fletcher Henderson.
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Picture this: A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
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Hmmm: Has the search party found “Johnny Football” yet?
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The height of irony: A ventriloquist on the radio.
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Truism: In business, this country is run by those who show up…period. As it should be!
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Quote: “Trying to think about the rest of the team over myself or my scoring is something that I never really had to do before."-- Knicks gunner J.R. Smith, who admits that he's having trouble adjusting to the triangle offense brought in by Phil Jackson.
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Truism: Unbridled overreaction is the default position for American society.
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Headliner: At their best, Leno and Letterman’s ratings combined, were about half of Johnny Carson’s.
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Dollars and sense: Salary stories make my eyes glaze over.
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Factoid: Stephen King just came out with his 63rd novel…if you’re scoring at home.
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Quote: When asked if he prayed for U.S. Senators, Edward Everett Hale (blood kin to both Helen Keller and Nathan Hale), replied, “No, I look at the Senate and pray for the country.”
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Didjaknow: Al Gore took one science class in college, receiving a D. How’s that for an inconvenient truth?
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An optimist: A professional accordionist with a pager.
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Hmmm: Do Hollywood writers love to write…or write to get their liberal point
across.
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TV Time Out: Glad season four of “Hell on Wheels” is in the books. No momentum at all this season. It has been renewed…hope next season picks up the pace. No matter what, it’s all going to come down to Bohannan vs. The Swede.
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Truism: You seldom get what you don’t ask for.
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Retch: The back page of the 10/30 New York Post had a big picture of a smiling A-Rod in pinstripes, complete with a caption that said in big letters, “MISS ME?”
My answer: Not really…not at all actually.
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The old college try: You got to love the fan of University of Mississippi football, who said in the New York Times: “We never lose a party at Ole Miss.” Full disclosure—we didn’t lose any at the University of Miami either.
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Quote: “A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.” -- G. Gordon Liddy.
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Standing O: Oscar Robertson is the only NBA player to average a triple-double for an entire season when be averaged 30.8 points, 12.5 rebounds and 11.4 assists a game in 1962.
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Get real: I will believe in the Easter Bunny before I believe that the coaches at North Carolina had no clue that the Department of African and Afro-American Studies was giving out grades as if they were jelly beans.
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TV Time Out II: “Person of Interest’s” tendency to call back to the past, to reiterate a larger continuous story, sets it apart from what could have been a show that was simply a straight up procedural. Characters and groups have come and gone, but there is always forward progress…constantly new villains filling the void. The show truly knows how to intertwine its story and characters in a most engaging way. The Brotherhood is the equal of HR and Martine is an exquisite nasty piece of work.
Elias as the new number…what a concept.
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Dollars and nonsense: The Yankees still owe the vile, disgraced A-Rod something like $61 million.
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Didjaknow: LBJ was the last Dimocrat presidential candidate to receive the majority of white votes.
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Rant: Political correctness is censorship.
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Random thought: It is quite difficult to act stupid unless you are.
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Hurry Up: The only time the past exists is when you think about it. Tomorrow is a mystical place where everything is going to be okay.
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Reality check: Three things most men hate doing: Asking directions, filling out forms, going to the mall.
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TV Time Out III: The final season of “White Collar” was pretty intricate and threw me a lot of curves. I already miss Moz.
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Hmmm: Why are there never any good side effects?
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Speaking of: Even as a self-proclaimed expert on a very limited number of subjects, I still manage to have an opinion on nearly everything.
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True or false: Smart phones must have scared off the UFOs.
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Bottom line: What people think usually has very little to do with what they actually know.
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Bottom Line II: “Unsubscribe Me” has replaced “The check’s in the mail” as the biggest lie in America.
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TV Time Out IV: Each week I doubt that “Blue Bloods” can get any better. Each week is does. They have great writers and a spectacular ensemble cast.
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Final Thought: Wisdom is not the same thing as intelligence.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were