Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Curmudgeon in the Wry 573

Wednesday, May 20, 2015---806 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 47 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Once you put it down, it is quite easy not to pick it up again.
Viewer Discretion Advised.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Jean Harlow.
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Reading: “Truth Be Told” by Hank Phillippi Ryan.
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On the Hi Fi: “Still the King” by Asleep at the Wheel…still!
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Under rated: Betty Hutton.
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TV Time Out: Should “Person of Interest” return in the fall, I will truly miss Elias. He was spectacular as both villain and semi-good guy. Elias was the show’s strongest recurring character. Good riddance to Dominic and The Brotherhood. As bad guys, they were as lame as Michael Rapaport’s Darryl Crowe was in season five of “Justified.”
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Hmmm: If the NFL truly wanted to punish Tom Brady, it would send him to the Jets for a season.
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Numbers game: Israel is 1% of the world. 30% of the international medical team in Nepal is from Israel.
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Overkill: The NCAA has added three bowl games to its lineup. That means nearly 65% of the eligible college teams will play in a bowl. How many mediocre games can the public stand?
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Bottom Line: You are who you hang with.
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TV Time Out II: Returning in June---On USA Network, “Royal Pains” on the 2nd and “Suits” on the 24th. On TNT, look for “Major Crimes” on the 8th and “Rizzoli & Isles” on the 16th.
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Food for thought: Among the things men don’t do are---1) Ask directions; 2) Read instructions; 3) Mail in rebate coupons; 4) Go to malls.
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Quote: “If it’s stupid, but it works---it isn’t stupid.”---Naval Ops Manual.
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Truism: Winters in Florida sure do go by in one big hurry.
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Idle thought: No matter how smart you may think you are…just wander into an Apple store, they’ll straighten you out.
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Full disclosure: I think political correctness is hiding a bunch of thugs and creeps.
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Picture This: No man, no matter how focused, can resist looking at a beautiful woman.
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New Normal: Do you ever get the feeling that if it were not for old comic books heroes, there would not be any new movies?
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It’s elementary: Friendly fire---isn’t.
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TV Time Out III: Boy-oh-boy, am I going to miss “Justified” and “Mad Men.” Neither finale was what I expected. I didn’t realize they were the finales I wanted until the final curtain.
Both shows proved that they are consistently smarter than the people who fancy themselves smarter that “Mad Men” and “Justified.”
Well done! Thanks for the memories.
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Hmmm: If the Arabs didn’t have oil, what would we have to chat about with them?
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Humor Me: It’s not funny if you have to explain it.
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Ever wonder: Why America spends so much time worrying about the rights of the scum of the earth.
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Bottom Line II: The most difficult part of any project is starting it.
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Truism: One man’s thinking out of the box is another’s harebrained idea.
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Do the math: All figures are for 2013 (latest year data available). Charitable Distribution for Koch Family Foundation = $ 7,542,598.00---Managerial overhead = $ 487,213.00.
Charitable distribution Clinton Foundation = $ 8,865,052.00---Managerial overhead = $ 84, 684,494.00.
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No Brainer: Baseball needs a shot clock.
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Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot: Why anyone takes Al Sharpton seriously continues to elude me.
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Instant analysis: Jewish guys write the best Christmas songs.
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Time’s Up: You know that you are way out of the demo when you realize that no one makes movies for you anymore.
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Time’s Up II: You know that you are out of the demo when every new song you hear makes you remember when your parents told you to turn down the radio.
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Works for me: Quite often, the smartest person in the room is the one with all the questions, rather than the one with all the answers.
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More blather: There is nothing real about reality TV shows.
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Stay tuned: Ever notice how the price of gas rises a lot faster than it declines.
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Much ado: That “fight of the century” nonsense sure disappeared in a hurry.
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Final Thought: Politics often boils down to a struggle between two camps. One camp is economically unproductive but politically organized. The other camp is economically productive but politically unorganized.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were