Saturday, August 15, 2015

Curmudgeon in the Wry 575

Saturday, August 15, 2015---740 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 31 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Once you put it down, it is quite easy not to pick it up again.
Viewer Discretion Advised.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Lt. Col. Ralph Peters.
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Reading: “Code of Conduct” by Brad Thor.
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On the Hi Fi: Brian Ferry’s “As Time Goes By.”
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Under rated: Guy Madison.
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Quote: “In our British Open pool, 18 guys chose Tiger Woods, ranked 241st in the word. But not one chose the 240th player.”-- Terry Rosenthal.
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TV Time Out: The USA Network renewed Mr. Robot for a second season. I thought the first episode was fantastic…but have gotten more and more confused since then. Paranoia is the recurring theme.
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Time Machine: Jack Nicklaus won 18 majors…and, finished second in an additional 19.
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Numbers game: No one on welfare should make more money than the lowest paid American serviceman.
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Hmmm: Remember when baseball’s All-Star Game was bigger than big?
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Quote: “Fighting morons is harder. You can’t guess what they’re going to do. But smart people are predictable.”—Jack Reacher from “THE AFFAIR.”
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TV Time Out II: “Major Crimes” is really big fun. The summer session was a pleasure…returning in November.
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Quote: From comedian Jackie Mason, “In New York, agents of the Health Department can enter any restaurant at any time and conduct an inspection. However, the international inspectors have to give Iran 24 days’ notice before entering a nuclear facility. So while we’re not protected from a bomb, we are protected from a bad tuna fish sandwich.”
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Out of Hand: Why is it no longer correct to be against something.
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Home and Away: UNC is the only FBS football team to play all their games on natural turf this season.
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Straight Talk: The devil is at his strongest while we are looking the other way.
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Hmmm: Why do pitcher’s stats reset to zero after they are traded to a team in the other league, especially with all the silly interleague play?
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TV Timeout III: “Suits” ratcheted up the intensity this season. Hardman’s return could be a tense cliffhanger to the next season. I still do not trust Jack Soloff.
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Missed the memo: Now we are supposed to like the guys who look like the terrorists who took down the Twin Towers, more than the Israelis…makes no sense.
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Stay tuned: I have not heard a great summer song on the radio in a long, long time.
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By the way: The World Series, that once upon a time, logically ended in early October, begins on October 27th this season. Trick or treat?
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Random Thought: You seldom see what you do not expect to see.
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Free advice (and worth it): If you don’t know what to do, it is often best to do nothing.
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Quote: “Changing the goal after the fact is just one of the ways the left has portrayed its failures as successes.”
“All these policies allow the political left to persist in their fact-free visions. And those visions in turn allow the left to feel good about themselves, while leaving havoc in their wake.”—Economist Thomas Sowell.
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TV Timeout IV: Much better pacing and momentum this season for “Hell on Wheels.” Still think it all comes down to Cullen Bohannon and the Swede.
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Wondering: Did you, like I did, think Ken Stabler was in Pro Football Hall of Fame?
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Show of hands: After visiting the DMV or the Post Office which way would you vote on increasing their benefits?
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Knockout: Rocky Marciano went 49-0 in his career, with 45 knockouts. Only Ezzard Charles went the full 15 rounds with him.
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Food for thought: When was the last day without a mattress sale?
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Final Thought: Immediately after brushing your teeth, there is no such thing as good wine.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were