Sunday, January 15, 2017

Curmudgeon in the Wry 590

Sunday, January 15, 2017--- 696 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 18 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Back by the demand of virtually no one.

Once you put it down, it is quite easy not to pick it up again.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
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Rave: Tucker Carlson.
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Reading: “Salvation Lake” by G.M. Ford.           
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On the Hi Fi:  “Night Hawk” by Coleman Hawkins.
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Under Rated: Tammy Bruce.
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Rant: No one knows what traveling is anymore in college basketball.
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Quote: “Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns.
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Hmmm: What does Santa do in the off-season?
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Band Played On: Try driving the speed limit around here on Interstate 4, and cars go by you like they are on a fast break.
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If You’re Scoring At Home: The Red Sox have won the offseason, parade next week.
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As Time Goes By: You never outgrow Christmas carols.
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Truism: Everything has a shelf life.
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No Big Surprise: The average TV viewership for the NFL’s four wildcard games was down seven points from a year ago…following in the footsteps of the regular season.
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My Three Favorite Italians: Dean Martin, Annette and Chris DeCarlo. Neil Cavuto and Maria Bartiromo round out my Top Five.
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Bad Medicine: The Greatest Generation fought and won WWII…today we have the gratingest generation (Millennials).
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Food For Thought: “Keeping Up With The Kardashians?” Who wants to?
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Ahead of the Curve: For the sake of America, Cubs general manager Theo Epstein should be in charge of something bigger than a baseball team.
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Instant Analysis: In this age of artificial intelligence, way too many of our schools and colleges are producing artificial stupidity.
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For What It’s Worth: Over 400 million people worldwide have ad blockers on their connected devices. This could be the largest boycott of anything in human history.
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Quote: From Charles Barkley, “We never get mad when black people kill each other. You can’t demand respect from white people and the cops if we don’t respect each other.”
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There are already driverless cars on our roads today. Commonly called "texting while driving.
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But Wait, There’s More: There are two people you do not want to be next to at a party—somebody who has gone to Harvard or someone who is in recovery…because, chances are, they will tell you immediately.
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Factoid: Larry Brown is the only coach to win both an NCAA and NBA title.
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Like, who knew: The top grossing movie star of 2016 was Scarlett Johansson.
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Just When You Thought You Had Heard It All: Along comes the news that for $6,189 you can get a Barclays Center package to see the Nets that includes a chauffeur and a private dressing room.
Not to see the 1986 Celtics. Not to see the Jordan in his prime. The Nets.
Somewhere P.T. Barnum is laughing.
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Quote: “I don’t know where we are going, but we are on our way.”---Stymie.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Quick Hit: The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong…but that is the way to bet.
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Inquiring Minds Want To Know: Just who is it that decides what is “breaking news?”
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Coming Attractions: More and more online shopping…more ghost malls.
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Reality Check: What is happening in Chicago is a national disgrace.
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Out On A Limb: The road to the Super Bowl…otherwise known as the Patriot’s Invitational.
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Final Thought: Ray Lewis meets with Donald Trump---Never too early or too late to work on a presidential pardon.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.

As you were